Unlikely Rivals
by Birkastan2018
Summary: Sequel to "Guilty"; part of the Guilty AU series. Non-massacre AU, SasuSaku, ItaIzu, NaruHina. Sasuke & Sakura have gone public with their relationship, but that hasn't changed the romantic advances Sakura continues to attract from other men. Then, along comes an unlikely rival that Sasuke finds he really can't do anything about... how will he get rid of him once and for all?
1. Marvelous Tits

**March 2020 Author's Note:** Thank you to everyone who took the time to read Guilty and leave me your comments for the chapters you enjoyed! Unlikely Rivals is the sequel to Guilty, and was first published in its entirety in Feb 2019 for my private reader's circle.

 _ **If there's enough interest in this AU**_ , I'm thinking about sharing the sequel here. It's going to take a considerable sacrifice of time to put Unlikely Rivals through an edit, so if you're interested in the Guilty AU and this sequel - please let me know through your reviews.

Just a friendly reminder that fanfic writers can't read minds, and the only way to know whether an AU is worth continuing is through reader feedback :D Thanks again for stopping by~!

* * *

"Madara, do you know who I am?"

Decrepit eyes narrowed with disdain. "Madara- _ **SAMA**_ ", he spat.

Tsunade sighed and turned to her hosts: the Uchiha clan head, his elegant matriarch, his imposing heir, and the dark-haired beauty his eldest was soon to be joined with in matrimony.

Madara's hunched form suddenly straightened in his seat as he barked, "TEA!"

A nervous squeak responded from behind the shoji. The rushed padding of small feet meant some unfortunate soul was scurrying to the kitchen to prepare the chanoyu that was so rudely demanded.

Satisfied that his orders were being followed, Madara harrumphed and returned to the scroll that he was "working on" prior to the arrival of his guests. He picked up his brush, and continued his unintelligible scribbling as he mumbled to himself.

When Auntie Hitomi returned with the items needed for her elderly charge's afternoon tea service, the members of Uchiha Fugaku's household and the Godaime Hokage all stood to take their leave. But before they could close the shoji behind them, Madara briefly looked up at Tsunade and smoothly declared in his signature languid baritone,

" _Did you always have such marvelous tits?_ "

… before turning his attention back to his tea tray.

The mortified Uchiha ladies promptly turned ten shades of red, while their clan head exhaled deeply and looked heavenward. Itachi's famously stony visage remained as impassive as ever, but for the near imperceptible thinning of his lips.

Their Hokage, however, wasn't affected in the least.

Senju Tsunade was a warrior – a legendary Sannin bearing the strength of a hundred seal, and the most infamous gambling addict the village had ever produced.

In other words, she was a bad bitch that had seen some crazy shit in her day, and some old fart with loose screws wasn't going to rattle her. Besides, she'd heard far worse from fellow drunks at pachinko parlors, so this was nothing.

With a snide grimace and a slam of the shoji with enough force to crack the frame, the Godaime left Madara's villa and stomped over to the main house, where she was fully expecting to be served the good stuff for her troubles.

Fugaku didn't disappoint.

Once the Hokage was respectfully ushered into the formal reception room, Mikoto and her future daughter-in-law faithfully brought in a tray of obscenely expensive sakes from Bird Country.

Tsunade's eyes gleamed with approval, to everyone's silent relief.

As the Godaime took her first sip, she took a moment to savor the alcohol's exceptional flavor before getting down to business. She nodded to her ANBU Vice-Commander, who tilted his head in understanding and seamlessly cast a silencing jutsu on the room.

Large amber eyes sharpened as she addressed the clan head and his matriarch.

"So, you should know that his body's cells are at the tail end of their final mitosis."

Mikoto looked on anxiously. "What exactly does that mean, Hokage-sama?"

Tsunade took another leisurely sip before continuing.

"Human cells only have the capacity to regenerate so many times. While Ojii-sama's life force may have prompted Madara's cells to trigger continual cycles of mitosis, they can't divide themselves any more. All of our testing indicates that his body's tissues and organs have undergone their last regenerative cycle."

" _Finally_ ," Fugaku muttered, drawing a disapproving 'tsk' from his wife.

His heir calmly interposed. "And what can we expect of his ongoing physical and cognitive condition, given this development?"

The Hokage sighed. "Nothing different, really. The synapses in his brain are what they are at this point. As you know, this condition never had any effect on the neural pathways that impact his relative awareness, memory loss, etc. He'll remain cognitively impaired until the end. And physically, it's a miracle he's been able to live with the unnatural strain his body's cells have undergone all these years. Even though he'll never admit it, without his meds, he'd be suffering. And he'll continue suffering from the same chronic pain and discomfort he's living with now until he passes."

"And when will that be?"

Izumi's eyebrows shot up at her future father-in-law's blunt questioning, but their Hokage didn't miss a beat.

"A bit _eager_ are we, Uchiha-dono?" She snorted and decided to hell with appearances, as she liberally poured herself another generous serving of sake.

"Look, I get it. He's a pill. But the fact is, that he shouldn't be treated differently than any other hospice patient requiring end-of-life care."

Before Fugaku could interject, Tsunade raised one of her perfectly manicured fingers. "And no, I don't give a rat's ass what your elders have to say. I'm not going to repeat myself again: his chronic pain is no excuse to even consider any sort of assisted suicide measures without his fully cognitive consent, especially if the pain can be managed with treatment and medication. There's a shit ton of ethical boundaries a consideration like that would compromise, and I won't have it. Not in my village."

Narrowing her eyes at both current and future clan heads this time, she continued pointedly. " _Everyone_ in this village matters. Ornery nutjob or not, his right to life is no less valid than yours or mine."

With that forceful declaration, the Godaime made it crystal clear that those were her last words on this particular subject.

Redirecting the conversation with a bit more levity, she quipped, "So, what did you do with him during Pein's attack?"

Mikoto responded with a shake of her head. "He was escorted to the clan's underground bunker, along with the rest of our children and elderly. We told him his presence was required for a meeting… that he needed to preside over."

Tsunade chuckled, while Fugaku rolled his eyes.

"And your youngest – how is he?"

Mikoto nodded, this time with a soft smile. "Very well, we think. The pain from activating the Mangekyou seems to have all but dissipated. And my Danna and our eldest have not had such clear vision without discomfort in years."

While Fugaku didn't speak, he did grunt in acquiescence.

Tsunade nodded. "Good. It's not just about your kekkei genkai; I've told Hyuuga-dono the same thing. It's about preserving your baseline vision. See to it that everyone continues their regular appointments with Sakura."

Itachi spoke up. "If I may, Hokage-sama. How is it that Sakura-san has been able to reverse the damage sustained to our eyes to this extent? The treatment she rendered was based on pre-existing research, but we have never been able to achieve results of this caliber before through treatment alone."

Tsunade flippantly waved a hand as she helped herself to more sake. "Simple. At this point, her chakra control is better than mine. It's true that the treatment for the kind of eye strain caused by overuse of the Sharingan is well established. It's just that now, she's able to refine her chakra to the point where she can actually differentiate each scorched nerve in the optic bundle and heal damaged fibers internally instead of just alleviating external inflammation."

Fugaku's eyes subtly widened at this. _Is that what little Haruno was doing?_

His heir murmured, deep in thought. "But, such a thing should be theoretically impossible."

Tsunade shrugged. "So should arresting the systemic breakdown of proteins in the body caused by artificial mutations of select iron compounds, but she managed to do that too, didn't she? It's how she saved the Kazekage's brother… what's his name? The one with the silly face paint or make up… whatever you call it."

Itachi sighed. "Kankuro-dono."

The Godaime's eyes brightened with recollection. "Ah yes, that's it."

Mikoto gazed at her husband with a slightly startled expression, while her future daughter-in-law looked on with unmuted awe at what they were hearing.

"At any rate, back to Madara. I suggest your clan make the necessary preparations. He's at the end of his rope, and usually I'd tell you to keep him comfortable in the meantime… But he seems to have a pretty good handle on that already."

Tsunade cackled with amusement at her own comment, to Fugaku's chagrin. The sheer cost of upkeep required for Mikoto's great-grandfather's lavish one-man household was a source of constant bickering and angst amongst the clan elders.

While he may not have had any awareness regarding his physical or mental condition, or even the current time and place in which he was living – Madara was still _Madara_ , which meant he demanded everything at the height of opulence.

The very best accommodations, elaborate formal dining arrangements, a ceremonial tea service prepared twice a day, the maintenance of his extensive personal koi ponds, private training grounds, and all of the other luxuries and services he enjoyed while he was clan head.

His beloved falconry alone cost the clan coffers tens of thousands of ryou per month.

Fugaku grimaced at the thought.

The Godaime tapped the side of her sake bottle as she considered her earlier exchange with the elderly menace.

"It's interesting what he remembers and doesn't remember on any given day. At his last physical, he affectionately recognized me as 'Hashi's brat' and also referred to me once as 'omago-sama'. But I don't think he had a clue who I was this time around… Probably wouldn't have said another word if it wasn't for my tits."

Tsunade looked thoughtful as she took another long sip of her drink, while Mikoto and her husband both choked on air. If the Hokage noticed the corners of Izumi's lips twitch up, she didn't mention it.

With that, the illustrious Godaime chugged the last of her sake straight from the bottle like the badass she was and decided it was time to end her visit.

Comfortably buzzed, she left the Uchiha main house in good spirits.

She was admittedly impressed. If this was the quality of stuff Fugaku kept in his personal stash, she could only imagine what he was going to bust out for the upcoming wedding of his firstborn.

Rubbing her hands gleefully, Tsunade told herself there was no way in hell she was going to miss that boy's reception, no matter what buzzkill Shizune had to say about it.


	2. Like an Elephant on Steroids

For Sasuke, some days it felt like a lifetime's worth of drama went down in the year since he and his best friend became jounin.

Shortly after the boys' promotion, Itachi's engagement to Izumi-nee was formally announced. But their initial wedding plans were shot to hell when Konoha was put on red alert over a brutal new mercenary group that emerged known as the Akatsuki.

The Akatsuki was a band of S-class nukenin that wreaked havoc among civilian towns and hidden villages alike in search of the Bijuu. Months of hostile encounters with the group culminated in their leader's unprecedented attack on Konoha just four months after the last jounin exams.

To say the invasion was a shit show of epic proportions was a gross understatement. But thankfully, it was over and done with.

The Akatsuki were soundly defeated and Konoha survived.

And now, Sasuke had different problems.

These days, the young Uchiha was more pre-occupied with his personal life since he and Sakura finally went public with their relationship.

He didn't know what to expect from their "big reveal", but he couldn't really bring himself to care. He knew he had his Nii-san's unwavering support in reigning in any meddlesome clan elders that were salty about Sakura's civilian background. And his Kaa-san had been too frazzled planning Itachi's insane circus of a wedding to harass him about his own unmarried status.

Sakura was worried about what Naruto's reaction would be… But surprisingly, their teammate took the news in stride.

" _Teme, you two were the worst kept secret in the village. The UST was through the roof!_ _Plus, out of all the slimy creeps trying to lay it on Sakura-chan, I'm glad it's you._ _Even though you're a bastard, at least we know you really care about her and will actually be able to keep her safe_."

Their old sensei merely gave Sasuke one of his typically disinterested (but knowing) looks. " _Why else do you think I got you that volume of Icha Icha?_ "

Shisui, of course, also had to throw in his own unsolicited two cents. " _Sakura-chan is hot, and she's bumping uglies with YOU? Way to get laid out of your league, chibi grouch!_ "

Needless to say, Sasuke did NOT appreciate Shisui's comments (which successfully struck a _very_ raw nerve). He also did not appreciate how little impact his official status with Sakura seemed to have in the eyes of the public.

While most of the infuriating love confessions and requests for dates that his girlfriend used to receive had ebbed out, that didn't stop her most shameless admirers from continuing to send flowers to her office, requesting allegedly "innocent" meetings over coffee or dessert, or otherwise trying to lay their filthy hands on her when he wasn't physically by her side.

These persistent overtures frustrated Sasuke to no end, but Sakura would always get so mad whenever he did anything about them.

" _Sasuke-kun, you cannot put every other male I have the slightest interaction with in the hospital. Some of them are civilians!_ "

Just thinking about it gave Sasuke a headache. If maiming was no longer an option - what would it take to get these assholes to back off?

Shisui sagely advised, " _Get her pregnant. Most guys aren't into that. I'm not… I don't think_."

NOT. HELPFUL.

Sasuke was tired of this shit. While these flaming turds were sorry excuses for rivals, none the less - they were still rivals.

And he wanted nothing more than to be rid of them.

Every. Last. One.

Sasuke recognized that most people would find his so called "problem" laughable compared to the horrors of battling a band of dangerous nukenin armed with tailed beasts.

But for his emotionally constipated and romantically inept self, he honestly couldn't decide which was worse some days.

Even if he wasn't so verbally challenged, it's not like there was anyone he could reliably talk to about this. Sakura was the closest thing he had to a comfortable confidante, but his girlfriend was less than responsive to his "over-reactive" and "unnecessarily protective" tendencies.

And it wasn't like their best friend could possibly understand what he was dealing with.

After all, the idiot didn't have the same problems with Hinata that he did with Sakura. Naruto didn't have to fend off hordes of creeps on the regular just to ensure that his girlfriend was unmolested in his absence.

And he wasn't just talking about the dickheads at home, either.

Take the Fire Daimyo's pervert son, for example (the one who always insisted that "Sakura-hime" perform his physicals when she and Shizune visited the Daimyo's castle for the royal household's bi-annual wellness exams).

Or that puppet freak Kankuro, who couldn't shut up about the "angel" who'd saved his life the last time they were in Suna.

Seriously, Naruto had it easy by comparison. Nobody was trying to steal that stuttering lovesick Hyuuga away from him.

And, as if the stress of beating off Sakura's adoring male public wasn't enough…

"Sasu-chan! Sasu- _chaaaan_! Get down here at once, young man! The tailor is here!"

Sasuke audibly groaned. His Kaa-san was seriously doing her damnedest to drive him up the wall with all of the endless fittings, rehearsals, and other shitfuckery he was forced to participate in over the past two months in preparation for his Nii-san's wedding.

Seriously, was one afternoon of peace and quiet too much to ask?

He'd _just_ returned home from a two week reconnaissance mission near Kusagakure with Kakashi and the moron.

But instead of being allowed to rest after his shower, Sasuke found himself standing in the matriarch's private fitting room dressed in a cumbersome montsuki in the presence of the clan's official tailor for what felt like the hundredth time.

He repressed the urge to glare under his mother's watchful eye, and couldn't help but think that at that very moment – he'd rather battle the Gedō Mazō all over again than waste one more second of his life being poked and prodded for yet another pointless fitting.

How was any of this necessary? It's not like he was the one getting married.

This was a waste of time. There were far better things he could be doing with his life.

Since awakening the Mangekyou, Sasuke entered into another phase of intensive training with Kakashi and Shisui to develop the evolution of his doujutsu when he wasn't out of the village on missions.

And he also started a special joint training regimen with Naruto to strengthen the combination of the jinchuuriki's tailed beast cloak with his recently acquired Susano'o.

If he wasn't at the training grounds, his time would have been better spent taking care of Sakura; making sure she was eating properly and getting enough sleep, among other things.

Not killing hours with this asshole tailor over frivolous nonsense.

Who gave a shit what color the trim of his hakama was?

He closed his eyes in frustration and tried to focus on something positive. Which was difficult when he had some old man's wrinkly paws all over his person.

He took a deep breath and tried to tamp down his irritation with thoughts of his girlfriend.

That's right… in another hour or so, Sakura would be over for dinner. And they'd be seeing each other for the first time since the men of Team 7 left for their recon mission.

His foul mood seemed to mellow near instantly at the thought.

Dinner couldn't come soon enough.

* * *

"Isn't the table quiet today without Naruto-kun and Shisui-kun?" Mikoto gently teased. "I understand that Naruto-kun was invited to dinner at the Hyuuga's, but I am a little sad about Shi-kun. I suppose his oba-chan's home cooking just can't compete with whoever the lovely young lady is that he took out on a date."

The younger shinobi at the table silently wondered if the esteemed Uchiha matriarch would still think Shisui's latest flavor of the week was a "lovely young lady" if she knew the girl was a cage stripper/gogo dancer that had once gotten into a vicious drunken catfight with two other girls at the club over her nephew's dick pics.

Of course, Mikoto was none the wiser, and continued her musing. "White Day is coming up soon; I hope he knows to be a gentleman and remembers to give her something."

Sasuke couldn't help snorting and muttered under his breath, " _Not unless VD counts as a gift_."

" _Sasuke-kun!_ " Sakura discreetly hissed and pinched her boyfriend's thigh under the table, to his displeasure.

Deciding a change of subject was in order before her future in-laws began questioning what that acronym meant, Izumi cleared her throat and looked to her favorite medic.

"So Sakura-chan, I guess it's been hard for you to get out of the village these days… I heard you couldn't join your team on their last mission."

Sakura gracefully placed her chopsticks down before responding.

Even though his thigh was still throbbing, Sasuke couldn't help being hyper aware of the kunoichi beside him – the way her pillowy lips subtly moved in tandem as she chewed her food; the movement of her slender neck whenever she swallowed; and gods, the scent of her hair…

"Unfortunately not, Izumi-nee-san. I had a few surgeries scheduled over the last two weeks that couldn't be re-assigned to another medic, and also had pre-existing commitments to host clinicals for our next batch of trainees."

Izumi's dark eyes lit up with interest. "That's right! I heard your inaugural class of mednin graduated a few months back. How are they doing?"

"They are doing well, thank you for asking. The majority of them passed their first stage certification exams at the beginning of the year, and formally entered basic rotations last month. That alone has alleviated the schedules for all senior medics across the board, which has been wonderful."

Despite the lingering soreness in his thigh, Sasuke couldn't help radiating pride at his teammate's remarkable achievements.

Following the invasion, Sakura had not only overseen the reconstruction of the hospital, but also took the initiative to create a meticulous first class training program for mednin at Konoha General. Her curriculum was the only one of its kind in the five elemental nations, and was widely recognized for the depth of training offered and the breadth of specializations students could choose along the way.

Izumi smiled with admiration. "Between your surgical practice and the research you've been directing at the poison lab, I don't know how you did it, Sakura-chan."

Sakura blushed at the compliment. "Well… Tsunade-sama always disliked dealing with the administrative side of things, so I learned about project management and finance pretty early on."

This time it was Fugaku's turn to snort behind his newspaper. "Dislike" was a gross understatement. The Godaime couldn't stand handling any paper that wasn't a lotto ticket.

Itachi glossed over his father's indiscretion and nodded approvingly. "The program is a tremendous credit to you, and to the village. We have cousins who matriculated from your inaugural class and can attest to its rigor, Sakura-san."

Fugaku subtly lowered his newspaper at the mention of his clan members.

"Yes, Taro-san and Kikumi-san did very well. I believe it can only be helpful for the clan to identify those with sufficient chakra control to become eye specialists early on, if they so wish."

Itachi's eyes warmed at the deliberate nature of Sakura's words.

He knew she chose to recognize Taro and Kikumi by name in front of his father, because they were distant cousins that were never able to activate the Sharingan.

Typically, Uchiha who failed to access their clan's kekkei genkai by the time they were eighteen were automatically shuffled into the civilian sector, and classified as unfit for shinobi service by their clan council.

In Itachi's opinion, that was fine… _if_ civilian life was what they wanted.

But he also believed that the older generation relied too much on the Sharingan.

Just because one could not use the clan's signature doujutsu did not mean one could not contribute meaningfully as a shinobi in other ways, if they wanted to continue pursuing military service.

Itachi considered his otouto's shrewd teammate. While most associated the Hokage's apprentice with her master's super human strength – to Itachi, Sakura reminded him most of the Godaime at times like this.

 _A clever one indeed._

* * *

Dinner continued in relative peace, given that neither Shisui nor Naruto was present to provoke Sasuke, and vis versa.

The youngest couple helped clear the table and volunteered to prepare the after-dinner tea tray, while Itachi and Izumi began plating the elegant namagashi that Sakura bought from the matriarch's favorite confectionary.

Once Sasuke and his kunoichi were safely ensconced in the privacy of the kitchen, she sweetly turned to give him a chaste kiss on the cheek. With her bright eyes brimming with affection, she whispered,

"I missed you so much, Sasuke-kun. I'm so happy to see you," before lightly placing her hand on his chest and wickedly running her soft, moist tongue over his bottom lip... only to pull away right after.

Enjoying the stunned look on his flushed face, Sakura giggled and turned towards the counter without another word. She casually put a pot of water on the stove for tea, and also began gathering cups and small plates onto his Kaa-san's preferred tea tray.

Sasuke was too dazed to do anything other than take in the sight of his girlfriend in her pale green, knee length sheath dress while he tried to process what she'd just done. While the garment was certainly professional, it was fitted in all the right places, accentuating her tiny waist, the heaving swell of her breasts, the fullness of her rear as she bent over the counter to –

"Is the tea ready?"

The tone of his mother's voice and her knowing smirk meant he'd been caught ogling his girlfriend's divine… assets.

Sasuke's ears burned with mortification, and he grabbed the tea tray before Sakura could respond.

"I'll take it," he muttered, before rushing back to the dining room.

* * *

After-dinner tea was enjoyed by all, but none more than Mikoto. The sheer delight in the matriarch's eyes at finally having a female audience with whom she could share all of the "fun" details surrounding Itachi and Izumi's wedding did not go unnoticed by her husband and sons.

While Mikoto dove into a passionate monologue picking apart the pros and cons of various paper samples, fabric swatches, flower arrangements, etc. – Sasuke tuned out his mother's crazy wedding talk and snuck glances at his girlfriend instead.

He was trying not to be so fixated by her… but that proved difficult when she began squeezing his knee and occasionally brushing her hand along his inner thigh under the table.

His pants were feeling tighter by the minute, and he wasn't sure how much more of her teasing he could take - when they were suddenly interrupted by loud knocking at the front door.

"Fugaku-samaaaaaaa!"

Mikoto sensed her husband's ire at this disruption, and gracefully stood to address their unexpected visitor herself.

She quickly padded to the genkan and opened the door to find the slumped over, teary eyed form of her niece, Megumi.

"Megumi-chan, what is wrong?"

" _Mikoto-samaaaa_!" Megumi promptly began wailing, and struggled to explain between sobs.

"He-he… is r-refusing to eat or b-bathe, and – and that means he c-can't take his m-medication, and… he p-pushed Jinzo-san into the tub instead and… and now – he's r-run out of the house!"

Mikoto briefly closed her eyes before asking poor Megumi to wait in the privacy of the sitting room.

Nobody missed the muffled sounds of stilted sobbing coming from the east wing.

The patriarch exhaled a deep sigh and reluctantly set down his newspaper. _There goes my peaceful evening._

He turned to his youngest. "It is getting late. You should escort Haruno-san home now."

"Aa." Sasuke looked to Sakura and gestured towards the door just as his Kaa-san returned to the dining room. Ever the polite and tactful guest, his girlfriend gave no indication that she'd heard anything out of the ordinary and smiled at her boyfriend's family.

Bowing deeply, Sakura thanked her hosts for having her before Itachi and Izumi walked the younger couple to the genkan.

Things quickly escalated once Sasuke opened the front door, and unfortunately for his girlfriend – no amount of grace and poise could have prevented Sakura from openly gaping at the mayhem before her.

Jade eyes widened at the sight of an imposing figure loudly stomping down the street past the main house gates, leaving a wild mane of waist-length white hair and one of Sasuke's harrowed aunties flouncing in his wake.

Sasuke refrained from slapping himself on the forehead.

 _For fuck's sake._

"Mahhh… _Madara-samaaaa_!" Auntie Hitomi screeched, as her shorter legs struggled to keep up with the long strides of her significantly aged charge.

At this point, Itachi and Izumi joined the younger couple on the front lawn to see what the disturbance was all about.

It was only when the foursome got closer to the street that they noticed exactly what the old man was (or wasn't) wearing.

Everyone zeroed in on the fact that he had nothing on but a pair of black fundoshi beneath his wide open yukata, and despite Sakura's very best efforts – she couldn't tear her eyes away from the impossibly gargantuan… _package_ that hung heavily beneath the fabric of his undergarment.

Madara's sheer height (even with his hunched back), the broad expanse of his shoulders, the remarkable degree of definition that he retained in his chest and abdomen even in his advanced age, all indicated that he was not your typical geriatric.

As if his intimidating aura wasn't enough, this elderly man's body was undeniable proof that he was a formidable warrior in his heyday.

Despite Auntie Hitomi's flailing, Madara refused to so much as acknowledge his frazzled caretaker – but abruptly stopped in his tracks as his tired eyes settled on the dazzling palette of one Haruno Sakura.

Stunned still, his hard expression cracked and a deep baritone voice choked out - "Kami-sama… _HARU_!"

Sasuke, Itachi and Izumi all turned their gaze from the ornery old man in the street to the pastel sprite in their midst.

It was clear that Sakura was just as puzzled by the sudden attention.

Looking from left to right as if to confirm that the outburst was actually directed towards her, the Hokage's apprentice couldn't help but scrunch her little nose in confusion, before a spark of recognition lit up her face.

 _Ahhh, so this is who Shishou was referring to…_

Frantically, Auntie Hitomi called out, "Madara-sama, _please_. Let us bind your hair and return to your home. Dinner has been served and your bath will be prepared soon."

Never taking his eyes off Sakura, Madara swatted the middle aged woman away with ease and stated in a tone brimming with authority –

"I will bind my hair… but _only if Haru does it for me_." He tilted his head towards Sakura, making it clear who he was referring to.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed sharply at this demand. What was this old nutass playing at? Who the hell was _Haru_?

AND DID THIS HALF DEAD PUNK REALLY HAVE TO BE HUNG LIKE AN ELEPHANT ON STEROIDS?!

The youngest Uchiha's fuming did not go unnoticed by Madara, who smirked in response to his obvious displeasure.

Oblivious to the silent enmity building between her boyfriend and his great great-grandfather, Sakura's expert eyes quickly assessed Madara's condition with clinical precision.

Despite his imposing stature, she noticed a minor tremor in one hand, the faint difference in the way he distributed weight between his right and left legs, the slightly strained intake of each breath…

 _Abnormal variations to the substantia nigra and the basal ganglia, degeneration of his neurotransmitters, erratic blood pressure, contusions of the alveoli_ , just to name a few…

The young medic saw panic rising in Auntie Hitomi's face at Madara's scandalous state of undress and mounting agitation, and knew what needed to be done to resolve this tantrum as quickly and discreetly as possible.

Surprising everyone present, Sakura addressed the elderly man with a gentle tone borne from years of experience working with patients, young and old.

"Madara-sama, I would be honored to bind your hair for you. But only if you agree to follow Uchiha-san and take your dinner and bath straight afterwards. A shinobi's body requires proper rest and nutrition as much as it needs intensive training, and I know you must take pride in your peak physical condition."

Madara's face eased into a sultry grin at her words, while Auntie Hitomi's glistening eyes brimmed with tears and unadulterated gratitude.

 _FINALLY! Someone was getting through to her impossible charge!_

Sharp, arrogant eyes softened as the old man beckoned Sakura to come closer.

She shyly gestured for him to close his robe first, and to everyone's shock – he actually complied. Sporting a devilish smirk and never breaking eye contact, Madara wrapped and secured his yukata, then slowly seated himself onto a wooden bench underneath a nearby street lamp.

He reached up to take hold of Sakura's delicate wrist and raised her hand to his hair. While everyone else was astonished by this initiation of physical contact, Sakura took it all in stride. She casually accepted a thin leather tie from Auntie Hitomi and proceeded to gently pull back and bind his wild mane.

Sasuke was not at all pleased to see Madara closing his eyes with a small but genuine smile, as he basked in the feeling of having his hair gently bound by such a beautiful young woman.

When Sakura was finished, she placed a soft hand on Madara's shoulder and brightly remarked, "There, all done. How handsome and distinguished you look! Now you are ready to enjoy your meal and take your bath."

The elderly hellraiser looked on affectionately at the medic beside him, when the Uchiha matriarch's elegant form suddenly appeared by the main house gates with her husband and niece in tow.

"Madara-sama, won't you allow dear Megumi-chan to escort you home?" Mikoto inquired, gently ushering Megumi forward.

To Auntie Hitomi's enormous relief, Madara actually rose and allowed himself to be escorted down the road to his villa.

Before leaving, he whispered something to his caretaker before turning to give Sakura a parting look filled with longing.

She just smiled back warmly, oblivious to the nature of his attention, as she was with all of her patients.

But Sasuke didn't miss the way the old man's eyes seemed to scrutinize his girlfriend's face and form, lingering on her figure.

Itachi quietly considered what just transpired. _Interesting…_

Izumi privately wondered what her future in-laws thought about the episode they just witnessed.

As for Sasuke… he wasn't sure why, but he suddenly felt a low grade sense of panic starting to seep in.

What the hell was _THAT_?!

* * *

 **A/N:** I want to express my sincere thanks to everyone who took the time to leave a comment and provide feedback on this continuation! This Ch 2 is for YOU. As always, if you liked this update: please let me know through your reviews! Thank you all so much~!


	3. DENIED

A big fat FAIL, that's what that was.

Laying on his back in the middle of a now decimated training ground, Sasuke tried focusing on his combat formations... but all he could think about was that dinner with Sakura and his family, and the bizarre shitshow that followed.

Three days passed since that disastrous evening, but he was still in the dog house with his girlfriend - and it made him want to rip his hair out.

He recalled how he'd walked Sakura back to her apartment at the end of the night… and how they spent the entire time arguing over that geriatric nutcase, Madara.

" _I said no. He's fucking nuts_."

" _Sasuke-kun, be reasonable. It's no big deal. Shishou already spoke to me at length about his condition. Madara-sama is cognitively impaired, and shouldn't be treated differently than any other hospice patient requiring end-of-life care. That's all._ "

" _Why do you have to do it_."

" _Your mother and Hitomi-san already explained why. For whatever reason, he asked for me specifically… and that's okay. Given his unique medical history, it's probably best that I be the one to address this anyway_."

" _He's always saying and doing crazy shit to the aunties. Like hell am I letting you near him._ "

" _I already told you, Sasuke-kun. Outbursts are not uncommon amongst cognitively impaired patients, especially those under hospice care. Fear and confusion on top of chronic pain can drive patients to say and do all kinds of things they don't really mean_."

" _Doesn't matter. You don't have time for this_."

" _That might have been the case before, but my schedule is more manageable now that our new medics are in rotation. And it will be nice to spend some time each week administering palliative care, as it hasn't been my focus in years…_

 _Dealing with people's lives hanging in the balance every day in the OR makes me miss that part of my job sometimes_."

Sasuke didn't think of Sakura's willingness to take on his mother's request from _that_ angle, which he silently berated himself for after the fact.

Because he knew better than anyone how deeply the loss of a patient impacted his girlfriend. He knew how harshly she blamed herself whenever anyone died on her operating table, no matter how futile a procedure was from the start.

He understood why she might have wanted to step away from the stress of the OR every once in a while…

And what she said next made him feel even worse.

" _I understand your concerns, but I know how to run my practice, Sasuke-kun_."

Sasuke dug the heels of his palms into his eyelids in frustration.

That's not what he meant.

He didn't mean to imply that she didn't know how to run her practice. Sakura was at the top of her game; that's the last thing he wanted her to think.

He remembered how the rest of their walk was fraught with tension. Instead of getting to settle in the mundane chatter he associated with Sakura since their Academy days… all he got was silence.

And when they finally reached her apartment, she informed him that she had an early morning the following day and wanted to get some rest.

FAIL. FAIL. FAIL. FAIL. FAIL.

After missing his girlfriend for two weeks, Sasuke was looking forward to spending his nights back home sleeping with her and getting reacquainted with her incredible body.

Instead, he got cock blocked by a living mummy.

How the hell did that night go off the rails so badly in such a short span of time?!

One minute, Sakura's small hand was mere inches away from his… MVP - and the next minute, he found himself frozen out of her bed and walking back to the compound alone.

Even more troubling, was that somehow the evening ended with her thinking he underestimated her professionally, which Sasuke knew was a sore spot for her.

And _worst of all_ , she agreed to serve as an interim caretaker to that deranged asshole on days when she had free time from the hospital.

He recalled his mother's justification for this madness.

" _It won't be all day, Sasu-chan. Sakura-chan is still very busy and doesn't have time for that. And it doesn't mean Megumi-chan or Hitomi oba-san, or Jinzo-san and the others will stop helping._

 _They'll still be there, but Sakura-chan will come by when it's conducive to her schedule to aide in the important things – making sure he takes his medication, administering minor healing to alleviate his general pain and discomfort, and other things that our clan members may not be as well equipped to handle… Right, Sakura-chan?_ "

Sasuke was suddenly ripped from his thoughts by a smelly and obnoxious foot shoving his shoulder.

"What the fuck are you grumbling about now? Bitching cuz you can't keep up with me?"

Sasuke viciously grabbed a clump of grass and slammed it into Naruto's whiskered face.

Screeching profanities as he spit dirt out of his mouth, Naruto reached over to put his best friend in one of their usual chokeholds, but neither had the strength to put much energy behind their bickering.

The boys were so exhausted, they barely noticed Shisui and Kakashi teleporting beside them.

The Copy Ninja peered lazily down at his former students.

"We're done for the day. You've been unfocused, Sasuke. Even with Kurama-sama's cooperation, the sheer force of the chakra you both are trying to coordinate is still extremely dangerous if it isn't handled perfectly."

Truthfully, Kakashi was surprised by the youngest Uchiha's wavering concentration that afternoon. Like his brother, the boy was usually militant about his training, staunchly disciplined, and was a resolute perfectionist.

In fact, there were only a precious few things he could think of that could ever be a distraction for him…

"YEAH! IT'S ALL IN THE _DETAILS_ , ASSHOLE!"

Kakashi sighed. "Naruto, before you start pointing fingers about details, keep in mind that you showed up to training this morning with your pants on backwards."

Shisui snickered above them. "Oi, did ya have a long night, Naruto-kun? Your girl wore you out so bad you were too tired to even put your clothes on right this morning?"

Naruto's cheeks flushed violently as he frantically choked out a string of vehement denials.

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose in aggravation. _What the fuck. Was he seriously the only one not getting any lately?!_

"C'mon, senpai. Don't be so hard on our Sasu-chan. He's got a lot on his mind, you know."

Sneering mischievously, Shisui added, "After all, how would you feel if your woman was spending time in the exclusive company of none other than _Uchiha Madara_?"

Kakashi refrained from rolling his eyes. _Is that what this was about?_

Naruto immediately sat up, face scrunched in confusion.

"Who?"

Shisui smacked the back of his head. "I said, _Madara_. As in, one of the founders?"

Naruto shot the older nin a dirty look before turning to his former sensei. "But Kaka-sensei, isn't that guy dead?"

At times like this, Kakashi seriously wondered how his genius sensei's less than genius son managed to graduate from the Academy when he couldn't even remember a basic history lesson correctly.

But, for whatever reason – the Copy Ninja found himself in a rare mood to actually volunteer information for once, and tried to explain the situation to his clueless former student.

"No, he's not. Madara was close to death after he battled the Shodaime at the Valley of the End. But, he and Hashirama were best friends, so the Shodaime used a kinjutsu to save his life."

Naruto scratched his chin as he tried to process this information. "But even if he didn't die back then, isn't he, like, _really old_? How is this guy still around?"

Kakashi sighed. _How could he explain Madara's condition in the simplest terms possible?_

"Well, according to Tsunade-sama, Madara's body changed at a cellular level when the life force of the Shodaime entered his chakra pathways."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, Shisui tried to stifle a snort, and Naruto… still failed to infer what had happened.

So, Kakashi tried a different approach. "You know, Naruto… the Shodaime's unique powers gave him the ability to create living biological tissue, which made his famous mokuton ninjutsu possible."

( _Crickets_ …)

"In other words, the Shodaime's chakra could prompt the regeneration of proteins and enzymes in the body at will. It is this power that caused Madara's cells to trigger continuous cycles of mitosis to renew themselves, which unnaturally prolonged his lifespan. Does that make sense?"

Sasuke shot him a dry look. _Really?_

But Kakashi just shrugged. "You three always complained that I never bothered to explain anything, and now you know why."

In typical Naruto fashion, he simply dismissed the complicated bits he didn't understand… which in this case, was everything.

But that was okay, because all of this sounded like boring textbook crap that didn't matter.

Most importantly –

"Why's this old man hanging out with Sakura-chan?"

Shisui crouched down to meet the younger nin at eye level.

"Well, Naruto-kun. Let's just say he's been receiving some _private care_ from our favorite medic."

This time, Naruto looked over at his best friend in disbelief.

"That's what got your panties in a twist? Sakura-chan's new patient? He's just some geezer."

Sasuke shot dagger eyes at the idiot, and was about to retort when Shisui beat him to it.

"Ahhh, but that's where you're wrong. Madara isn't just any old geezer." The older Uchiha gave his baby cousin a devilish grin.

"He was an absolute _savage_ with the ladies back in the day, you know."

Naruto's eyes widened while Sasuke's nostrils flared in indignation. "What the hell is that supposed to mean."

Shisui chuckled as he picked at a piece of non-existent lint on his sleeve.

"Word on the street was, that Madara could get _any woman he wanted_. You know, because he had that whole 'wickedly handsome with a monster physique' thing going on. And of course, it didn't hurt that he was a crazy powerful ninja who could only be challenged by the first Hokage."

Ignoring his senpai's bland, but unmistakably pointed look, Shisui bit back a giggle and continued.

"And of course, he's always had that long, _virile_ – "

.

.

.

" **HAIR**."

Naruto nearly fell over. " _Hair_?"

Shisui tried nodding with a straight face, but could barely contain his snickering as he explained further.

"Yes, _hair_. Where do you think Jiraiya-sama got the inspiration to grow out his own hair from? It's because Madara's wild hair was always so popular with the ladies, and attracted a near _endless stream of ass_."

Sasuke was catatonic.

His brain shut off after he heard the word "virile", and the only thing he could think of at that moment was the sight of Madara's enormous _you know what_ from three days ago.

The younger Uchiha visibly sweat dropped.

Sakura…

He recalled the way her large eyes locked onto Madara's –

large,

THICK,

 _ **VIRILE**_ –

Sasuke snapped.

Without another word, he grabbed Naruto by the collar and frantically dragged him off the training grounds to come up with some… plan, or strategy - or… FUCK. SOMETHING, ANYTHING, to get Madara away from their impressionable female teammate.

* * *

Kakashi aimed a lazy eye over to his former kouhai who was now doubled over on the ground laughing, and exhaled a deep sigh.

"Why does it feel like we're going to be dealing with a whole lot of stupid over the next few days because of your little performance just now?"

Shisui couldn't offer a verbal response because his laughter escalated into full blown howling.

Kakashi languidly pulled his hitai-ate over his left eye and whipped out his trusty orange book.

So much for training…

* * *

"WHAT THE FUCK, TEME?!"

After nearly strangling each other on their way out of the training grounds, Naruto and Sasuke found themselves tumbling down a grassy hillside on the outskirts of the village.

Once both battered boys caught their bearings, Sasuke finally regained enough of his mental faculties to explain his sudden actions, and described the events that followed the dinner at his home three days ago.

Naruto's eyes widened with alarm as he realized what was at stake.

"Super gross! That nasty geezer has the hots for Sakura-chan!"

He thumped his fist into the open palm of his other hand and steeled his blue eyes.

"First things first. Where's Madara? We gotta know what he's up to!"

Sasuke curtly nodded. "He might be with her now. This is around the time she took care of him yesterday."

Naruto slapped a firm hand on his best friend's shoulder. Without exchanging another word, both boys expertly masked their chakra and took off in the direction of the Uchiha district.

Sasuke sensed his girlfriend's all too familiar signature getting stronger the closer he got to his clan's holdings. When the duo finally reached the road leading to the compound, they saw two chuunin standing guard at the gates, speaking to each another in low tones.

Sasuke recognized his younger cousins Inabi and Tetsuna heatedly whispering to one another, eyes wide with wonder. While the older jounin were still a good distance off, their superior shinobi hearing and sharp lip reading skills gave the chunnins' guarded conversation away.

"Jinzo-oji-san said Madara-sama took her on a picnic… where she FED HIM, can you believe it? And she's been massaging his hands to help with his arthritis… Gods, if a woman like that ever put her hands on me I'd lose my shit!"

"Yuriko bumped into Hitomi-oba-san at the art store this morning. Oba-san said he's painting something for Haruno-sensei… But he won't tell anyone what, exactly. What do you think it is?"

" _Who cares about that_?! She's a 100 out of ten! If losing your marbles means getting touched by a five alarm hottie like that, sign me up!"

Naruto gave his teammate a startled look, while Sasuke's eyes narrowed with displeasure.

A picnic?

 _Massages_?!

Sasuke harrumphed and stomped up the road with Naruto in tow.

The chuunin standing guard visibly paled at the sight of their powerful older cousin and his jinchuuriki teammate, and scrambled to straighten their posture.

Not bothering to return their shaky greetings, Sasuke yanked a happily waving Naruto along as they headed down the compound's main street towards Madara's sprawling estate.

The boys were unfamiliar with the former clan head's villa, so they decided to start their recon by scoping out the premises from the roof of the estate's highest structure, which happened to be the falconry.

Deftly hidden on their rooftop perch, the boys quickly scanned over the extensive gardens, the lush koi ponds, and the neatly manicured private training grounds.

And while they saw Auntie Hitomi and a domestic helper carrying what looked like a canvas, an easel, and other art supplies into Madara's residence, they couldn't find any visible sign of their third teammate… until Sasuke caught a flash of pink from a second story window.

He pointed it out to Naruto, who just looked confused.

"Why are Sakura-chan's clothes over there?" Naruto whispered, pointing to a white medic's coat and a familiar red dress, both hanging neatly from a pricey Jindai cedar armoire in the corner of the room… with Sakura nowhere in sight.

Suddenly, his blond eyebrows shot straight to his hairline as he came to a realization.

Naruto's usually tan, whiskered cheeks blanched as he gripped the high collar of Sasuke's navy shirt.

"TEME. He's PAINTING… and – and, Sakura-chan's CLOTHES… AND – !"

Sasuke furrowed his brows, trying to figure out what the idiot was trying to say.

He gave up and furiously whispered back, "And? What about it?!"

"Don't you get it?! This is _baaaaaaaad_!"

Sasuke repressed the urge to smack his best friend upside the head. "Stop being so fucking vague and EXPLAIN."

"I'm TRYING, asshole! So, remember the time I took Hinata-chan on a date to that new okonomiyaki café? Before we left for Kusa? Not so great, by the way."

Sasuke's vicious glare meant he was losing patience, fast.

"Okay, so anyways, we ran into Ino and her new boyfriend, the ANBU guy. You know, the artist? The one who wears the baby sized shirts?"

Sasuke inwardly groaned. Yamanaka was a raging hemorrhoid; she was always dragging Sakura out to bars and discos without him for "girls night out" events and other similar shitfuckery.

And when she wasn't doing that, she was constantly bragging about the lavish gifts and romantic dates her weirdo artsy crop top wearing boytoy routinely planned for her.

 _Fuck_.

Nothing Yamanaka related was ever anything less than an S-class disaster.

Naruto continued. "So anyway, Ino told Hinata-chan that men like painting the women they love naked because it's like, artistic and romantic… or something. That guy Sai painted Ino in the NUDE and gave it to her as a gift!"

Naruto rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand in confusion.

"I mean, if you have a naked picture of your girl, isn't that super hot? Wouldn't you want to keep it? Why would your girl want it? Hey! Teme? Teme, are you listening?!"

No, he wasn't. Because all Sasuke heard were the words "naked" and "nude".

Madara was going to paint her…?!

Sasuke _fumed_ … Over. his. dead. body.

He locked eyes with his best friend with a murderous look letting Naruto know shit was about to get real.

Employing all of their most impressive stealth and infiltration skills, the duo silently scaled down the walls of the falconry and breached Madara's residence, but nearly blew their cover when Naruto tripped on an ornate table.

"Watch where you're going, Dobe!" Sasuke quietly hissed, privately wondering how a jounin could be so clumsy.

To his ire, Naruto was too absorbed with his surroundings to heed the warning.

Truthfully, Sasuke couldn't really blame him. He'd heard his Otou-san's grumblings about the exorbitant cost of maintaining Madara's household, but had never personally been inside the lavish villa… until now.

Like most of the buildings within the compound, Madara's home was constructed in a traditional style. But the sheer size and scale of the structure nearly dwarfed the grandeur of the main house.

Furnishings were sparse, in keeping with the style of noble homes during the Sengoku period, but each piece was made from the rarest woods of the highest quality.

The boys also noticed the impressive hanging scrolls that were hung on the walls, featuring calligraphy for single words that reflected shinobi life.

Parchments bearing the kanji for "Duty" and "Honor" were both hung above the oversized genkan, while another hanging scroll with the word "Family" was featured prominently in the large central washitsu.

As the boys passed what appeared to be the largest bedroom in the home, Sasuke noticed that there were only two works on the walls other than the scant furnishings therein: a painting (the only one he'd seen in the house) of bare trees with their closed buds covered in a light sheet of frost, and a scroll on the opposite wall bearing the kanji for the word "Devotion".

Sasuke scrutinized the décor for a second. _Strange… if this is the largest room, it had to belong to Madara._

But he couldn't help thinking that the choice of works adorning the walls seemed kind of sappy for a shinobi of his caliber.

As the duo continued their way deeper into the house, they were hit with the unmistakable sound of Sakura's silvery laughter coming from the –

Naruto whispered, "Why would he paint a nudie picture of Sakura-chan in the kitchen?"

Sasuke shook his head in disgust. What kind of question was that? Maybe it was because of some kinky food shit; how the hell was he supposed to know?!

Filled with righteous indignation, Sasuke prepared to strike – which his best friend instantly sensed.

A split second later, the boys leapt out from behind the kitchen door with kunais in hand, ready to take down the dirty old bastard when –

They were suddenly flying through the kitchen window.

* * *

Sasuke and Naruto found themselves sprawled out on the now splintered engawa outside the kitchen, their cheeks swollen with vicious bruises.

The first thing they saw when they came to was their female teammate, completely covered up in a properly tied grey yukata…

And what could only be described as a hellish glare on her face.

Naruto cowered in fear as he glued his eyes to the ground, desperately hoping she wouldn't break any of his bones that day. He really didn't want to have to cancel his dinner date with Hinata-chan over this.

Sasuke, on the other hand, couldn't keep his eyes off her.

Maybe that made him a masochist of sorts, he wasn't sure. But there was just something strangely erotic about the way Sakura's small fists were clenched; how her face was flushed with anger; the way her hair was mussed, and how her breasts heaved with every labored breath, causing her cleavage to peek through the collar of her robe…

In short: a furious Sakura was _magnificent_.

"Naruto… I'm not even going to ask. I WANT YOU TO GO. HOME. RIGHT. NOW."

The blond whimpered at her lethal tone, and immediately hobbled his way out of the villa as fast as his legs could carry him.

Sakura closed her eyes and took a deep breath before addressing her boyfriend next.

"Sasuke-kun… I need you to explain yourself."

Sasuke felt like his brain was short circuiting from everything he was feeling all at once, which wasn't a new thing when it came to his girlfriend.

Flustered by how sexy she looked, wincing at the pain in his cheek, irritated by how comfortable she seemed in Madara's home, whilst hopelessly burning with attraction for her, he blurted out –

"Why are you wearing that."

Sakura blinked. What the… _what_?

"Because we were making food, and I didn't want to soil my work clothes. The cook didn't have a spare apron in my size, so she gave me this old yukata instead."

"Why were you cooking."

Did she hit Sasuke too hard? Why was he so out of it and asking all these random questions?

"Hitomi-san mentioned that Madara-sama's appetite had been fickle lately, and he can't take his meds without eating something first. So, I asked him what his favorite food was."

She pointed to packages of aburaage tofu pouches on the kitchen counter, presumably opened for inarizushi.

"I wanted to work on his hand/eye coordination today, so I figured having him prepare his favorite dish with me was a good way to do that, whilst ensuring that he ate a full meal… Wait – Sasuke-kun, are you okay? What is this about?"

The back of Sasuke's neck burned with embarrassment as he muttered, "I thought he was painting."

The young medic was completely confounded.

Huh?

"What about it? Yes, he mentioned that he used to paint, so I asked Hitomi-san if we could get him some art supplies because it's another good way to exercise one's hand/eye coordination."

Shaking her head in bewilderment, Sakura leaned over and placed a green hand over her boyfriend's forehead to see if he was suffering from a concussion… only to find that he wasn't.

She looked heavenward in frustration, not understanding what the hell was going on.

What she did know was, that Sasuke seemed to be in a mood… and it didn't look like she was going to get coherent answers from him any time soon.

Too tired and drained from the drama that ensued to deal with this any further, Sakura tried to speak in the calmest tone of voice she could muster.

"I… I can't believe this. I need to find Hitomi-san; we need to get someone to clean all of this up."

Before walking back into the house, she looked over her shoulder with hard eyes.

"And I'm sure you know that you and Naruto will be paying to repair all the property damage you've caused."

* * *

Sasuke continued sulking outside the destroyed kitchen window, wondering just how he'd fucked up so badly, when he noticed Madara approaching.

The elderly man's deep voice cut the silence. "I remember you. You are the whelp that was attempting to make eyes at my mate."

Sasuke's head whipped up.

" _Your mate_?" He hissed, desperately trying not to incinerate the shit out of the presumptuous mummy in front of him. "She's MY girlfriend."

Madara snorted and waved a hand dismissively. "She was mine first. And I do not share what belongs to me."

"First?! What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Ignoring the question, Madara crossed his arms in a show of dominance and scoffed contemptuously.

"Tch. As if a pup like you even had the necessary… _equipment_ or _know-how_ to satisfy a woman like _mine_."

Madara sneered one last time before stomping back inside the house, just as Auntie Hitomi appeared to settle him in the washitsu for his afternoon tea service… leaving a livid and speechless Sasuke in his wake.

* * *

 **A/N:** Hello everyone, I hope you all are safe and healthy during these difficult times.

I also wanted to take this opportunity to thank every person who not only took the time to read, but left an encouraging comment/review as well. I appreciate your feedback more than you know, and love engaging with you!

This update is for all of you conscientious readers! But: I also wanted to remind everyone else that it's not the sole responsibility of the same handful of people to keep a story going.

I continue to be really discouraged and dismayed by the startlingly low % of readers leaving feedback, compared to the sheer number of visitors to the story. I don't write for myself, and it's a significant committment of time to edit and post each chapter - so if you enjoy it, please remember to leave your comment below. Kindly remember that clicking a favorite button is no substitute for leaving feedback. Thank you for your understanding, and I hope to engage with more of you in the future!


	4. In Hot Water

It only took one look at his numbskulls for Kakashi to learn everything he needed to know.

Two days after the fiasco at Madara's villa, Naruto and Sasuke's faces were still swollen and bruised.

Usually, Sakura was militant about her team's health and well-being. And if that meant she had to corner her erstwhile sensei at his favorite adult bookstore so he'd complete his quarterly physicals, or make house calls to the Uchiha compound for Sasuke's eye appointments, or brave Naruto's apartment to replace all of the instant ramen in his cabinets with the marginally healthier low-sodium variety… so be it.

She worked tirelessly to ensure that her teammates were in their best physical form at all times.

The entire village knew how close knit Team 7 was, despite the fact that they were jounin now and fully grown. And all three of Sakura's boys greedily basked in her tender loving care and affection.

It wasn't unusual to see her with her blond brother at Yamanaka Hana patiently helping him pick flowers for his beloved Hinata-chan; or endlessly fussing over her outwardly irritated (but inwardly chuffed) boyfriend whenever her team returned home from a mission without her. It was just as common to see Sakura out in the marketplace stocking up on her former sensei's favorite foods so he had easy access to healthy pre-made meals at home.

" _Oh, you know Kaka-sensei. If I don't keep his refrigerator stocked, he's probably just going to pop a few soldier pills and call it a day since he's too lazy to cook for himself these days_."

She wasn't called Konoha's Sweetheart for nothing.

Which is why Naruto and Sasuke's fucked up faces could only mean the following:

(1) They pissed Sakura off (badly) and,

(2) Whatever they did must have been absurdly stupid since Kurama wasn't inclined to help with Naruto's healing, either.

Despite Kakashi's constant tardiness and lackadaisical disposition, nobody could deny that the man was an elite among prodigies. He was whip smart, and over the years, he also learned to value his life.

Which is why there was no way in hell he was getting in the middle of this. He simply cut their training short that day, in light of the boys' injuries.

As he headed home to feed his ninken and enjoy a wonderful pre-made meal of salt-broiled saury and eggplant miso soup (courtesy of his favorite student) - he overheard Shisui suggest a form of recuperation to his two subordinates.

Casually spinning a kunai with his index finger, the older Uchiha quipped,

"Sakura-chan must have gotten you good if your faces are still fucked up. We should go to the onsen... it could really help with your injuries."

Naruto's eyes lit up like strobe lights. "That's a GREAT idea, Shisui-nii! My back is killing me after she threw us out that window!"

Sasuke scoffed. As if he had time to waste at the village onsen with these fools. He turned on his heels, intent on hauling himself home to stew over his current predicament, when Naruto jerked his collar back.

"C'mon Teme, don't be such a prick! Everything hurts right now and I need to relax!"

Sasuke whipped around and snapped, "And whose fault is that, Dobe?! Who went on and on about painting and got us into this mess in the first place?!"

He ripped Naruto's hand away and huffed. "Besides, why do I have to go? I don't have time for this. I need to figure out how to fix shit with Sakura."

"BUT _TEMEEEEEEEEEEEEE_!"

"Forget it. Don't you remember what happened last time?!"

Sasuke shuddered thinking about the last time he, the idiot and Kakashi went to the village onsen.

All it took was one kunoichi with mediocre sensory skills to ascertain their presence, and suddenly Konoha's entire fangirl populace was informed that the sexy men of Team 7 were at the bathhouse that day.

Kakashi had a dedicated club of rabid fangirls that stalked him for years, as did Sasuke. And Naruto amassed his own cabal of obsessive admirers following his heroic feats during the Akatsuki's attack.

Sasuke's neck was killing him, his face was still swollen, and he was up shits creek with Sakura.

The last thing he needed was to get harassed at the onsen by a group of thirsty, grabby, unhinged fangirls feverishly hoping to catch a glimpse of him in some state of undress.

"We'll mask our chakra then! I really need to go and you have to come with!"

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose.

What had he done in his past life to get saddled with such a clingy best friend? He knew he'd never get a moment's peace until Naruto got his way. Sasuke seriously wondered how Hyuuga put up with his ridiculous neediness.

After another fifteen minutes of relentless whining, Sasuke finally acquiesced.

Grudgingly, he allowed himself to be dragged to the Falling Leaves Onsen, cursing his teammate and older cousin seven ways to hell along the way.

All three masked their chakra to avoid drawing any unwanted attention before heading to the men's locker room. As Sasuke changed out of his training clothes and started his pre-bathing shower, his thoughts wandered to the last time he'd taken a bath.

Of course, it was with his girlfriend in the privacy of her apartment the night before he left for his last mission.

He recalled how Sakura treated him to a seductive striptease, gathered her long hair into a loose pile on top of her head… and joined him in the shower.

After washing his hair and scrubbing his body down for him, she left him in the shower with an aching erection and proceeded to draw him a bath in the adjacent tub.

When the water was ready, she gestured for him to get into the tub and promptly settled herself between his legs.

Sasuke would never forget the predatory glint in her eyes, and the irresistible flush in her cheeks.

He remembered how the steam in the bathroom left a thin sheen of dew on her face and upper body, how errant wisps of her pastel hair laid slick on the side of her neck, while droplets of water slowly trickled between the valley of her round, buoyant breasts as her small hand deftly worked his –

Shit.

He turned the shower knob sharply to the left to draw cold water from the spray. He couldn't deal with a hard on right now, not when he was in the company of the two most obnoxious douchebags in the village.

It had been nearly three weeks since he enjoyed that last, passionate night with Sakura... and he missed her terribly.

And it wasn't just the sex either. He missed her stories, her sharp wit, her cheeky and irreverent sense of humor, her brilliant smiles, just… _everything_.

He wanted to feel the gentle weight of her body against his own; he wanted to lose himself in her eyes and be lulled to sleep by the sound of her voice...

And most of all - he wanted to revel in her exclusive company, without the hassle of others trying to vie for her attention.

Like that petulant asshole, Madara.

Just the thought of him was enough to make Sasuke's Sharingan activate. He was still furious with the elderly menace, and outraged over his emasculating insults from the previous day. Still, he tried his best to view the situation as rationally as he could manage from Sakura's perspective.

As far as he knew, his girlfriend wasn't aware of the exchange he had with that geriatric dickhead.

All she knew was that her teammates inexplicably attacked her patient in his own home with their chakras masked while she was just doing her job.

Sasuke grit his teeth as he shivered under the icy spray. He knew how bad it looked, and why Sakura was so upset. He needed to apologize to her – sincerely, and without further delay.

He finished his cold shower and prepared to enter the men's side of the onsen. As he considered when the best time would be to visit her apartment, he noticed his degenerate cousin and dimwit best friend shoving each other by the entrance to the mixed gender hot spring.

"No, Shisui-nii! Hinata-chan would be so mad!"

"C'mon, Naruto-kun. Don't be such a pussy. It's for medical reasons, what's the big deal?"

"But why would the mixed bath be better for my back than the men's-only bath?"

Shisui scowled. For as daft as their loveable jinchuuriki could be, he did have random moments of acuity that seemed to strike at the most inconvenient times.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. That pervert Shisui didn't give two shits about their injuries. He just wanted to sit in the mixed onsen with a bunch of naked women.

The younger Uchiha gripped his teammate by the back of his neck and dragged him over to the entrance of the men's-only side. "Forget Hinata. You really want to risk _Sakura_ finding out?"

Naruto visibly paled as his blue eyes widened in fear. "Say no more!"

Sasuke shot his cousin a look of disgust and followed his best friend into the men's-only onsen pool. Shisui heaved a defeated sigh, and dragged his feet behind them.

* * *

"So, chibi grouch. What did Oba-chan have to say about that shiner, hmm?"

Sasuke glared before crouching deeper into the water. "Nothing."

Which was strange. When he returned home yesterday after that epic shitshow at Madara's villa, he expected a proper lashing out from his parents… but got nothing.

His mother hadn't even mentioned the condition of his face, which was bizarre in and of itself.

In fact, it was Itachi who came by his room later that night with an ice pack, asking if he wished to speak about it.

Sasuke shook his head, and that was that.

 _Weird…_

But whatever. He decided not to overthink it, and just be grateful that he wasn't in more trouble with his parents for the damage they caused to Madara's home.

Plus, he had more important things to deal with right now. Like figuring out how to make things right with his girlfriend.

Thankfully, Shisui didn't ask any more asinine questions and just laid his head back on the rocks, taking leisurely sips of sake every so often.

Even Naruto was uncharacteristically quiet. He closed his eyes in relief as the heat from the water seeped into his skin and warmed his injured muscles. Sasuke couldn't deny that the hot water really was effective in soothing the ache in his own neck and shoulders, but like hell was he going to admit that in front of these goons.

The silence of the men's side of the onsen was shaken by light giggling coming from the other side of the bamboo divider where the mixed bathing pool was located.

Sasuke sat up in an instant. He knew that giggle like the back of his hand, and strained his ears to listen more closely to whatever was going on behind that divider.

" _Mmmm… Haru, how is that?_ "

" _That's perfect Madara-sama, just like that. How does it feel?_ "

" _So very good, my heart… So sooooo good_."

Shaken by the sound of Sakura's all too familiar voice, Naruto and Shisui bolted upright as well. The former's whiskered cheeks flared in indignation, while the latter cupped a hand over his mouth to stifle his giggling.

" _Actually, Madara-sama… can we stretch it out a little wider? Yes, that's it. Wider… Mmm, wider… just like that_."

" _Should I go deeper, Haru? Like this?_ "

" _Yes, Madara-sama. Deeper, please... go as deep as you can_."

The entire exchange had Sasuke seeing RED, and his barely contained composure **cracked**.

* * *

 _A FEW HOURS LATER..._

"Really, Mikoto. Are you sure about this? These incidents are just getting more costly and outrageous by the day."

Fugaku's wife affectionately rolled her eyes behind his back as she lovingly helped him out of his haori and handed him a clean set of pajamas.

"Trust me, Anata. It is best to leave this be and let it run its course."

Fugaku pursed his lips in irritation. First they had to pay to repair the damage to Madara's villa, and now this?

He was the Chief of Police, for Kami's sake. It was humiliating to get flagged down at the end of the day, only to learn that his idiot younger son had ambushed the mixed bathing facilities at the village onsen, terrified the other patrons, destroyed the bamboo divider between bathing pools, decimated the entrance side walls to the locker rooms and flooded the place -

Just to disrupt a routine hydro-therapy session little Haruno was conducting for Madara.

Sensing her husband's lingering reservations, Mikoto placed both hands on his chest and looked up at him reassuringly.

"Don't be such a worry wort, Fugaku. After all, when have I ever led you astray?"

The typically austere Chief sighed in resignation and cupped his large hands over her own.

Because frankly, she wasn't wrong.

After twenty five years of marriage, Fugaku could categorically say this:

When he listened to his soft spoken, lethal, beautiful and cunning wife… things had a tendency to go well.

And when he didn't - things had a way of devolving into deep shit.

Like the time Mikoto had urged him to "… _have faith in Itachi. He may be a child, but he is wise beyond his years. He is our son, and if he says he can right the discrimination of our clan without bloodshed, then I will trust in his judgment… and so should you_."

And she was right. While certain factions of their clan were urging him to take a more aggressive stance – at the time, he and his wife stood firmly behind their heir.

Of course, Fugaku never imagined that twelve year old Itachi would have the unwavering support of his ANBU captain.

But he did - and Team Ro brought Danzou's treacherous plans to steal his nephew's eyes, and alienate the Uchiha from the village through false accusations to light.

The Sandaime's objective assessment of all the evidence Team Ro uncovered resulted in Danzou's execution. Sarutobi Hiruzen's swift and transparent handling of the matter restored the clan's faith in the office of the Hokage and improved their relations with the rest of the village; bonds that became strained during the Nidaime's tenure.

Fugaku didn't even want to think about what could have happened if he hadn't listened to his wife.

And of course, there was also the time when the elders balked at the Uzumaki brat spending so much time at the main house when Sasuke was still in the Academy.

The clan council claimed that Naruto's presence in the compound and his close friendship with his youngest son would subject the clan to suspicion, especially after Danzou and his disbanded guerilla forces tried to falsely pin the Kyuubi's attack on the Uchiha.

To this day, he remembered Mikoto's clear and unequivocal resolve.

" _Nonsense, Anata. Danzou and his illegal faction has been exposed. The entire village knows that he is, and will die, a criminal. His attempts to defame our clan bears no weight_.

 _Naruto is just a child. It is foolish to allow the ingrained prejudices of a few to dictate who Sasuke can and cannot be friends with. Sasuke needs this, too. He is too withdrawn, and clings only to Itachi. This bond will be good for him. Naruto can be the yin to his yang_.

 _Kushina was my dear friend… and the last thing she said to me was that she hoped the boys would be close. I owe it to her to make sure her baby grows up feeling accepted and loved. I will not stand in the way of Naruto and Sasuke's friendship, and neither should you_."

And that was that.

Of course, as with everything, Mikoto was right. The boys grew up training together, growing stronger together. And Team 7 became an unstoppable force in recent years.

It was said that the last time the Kyuubi was seen wearing the Susanoo's coat of armor in battle was in Madara's day. Nobody knew exactly why the Nine Tails was willing to coordinate its tailed beast chakra with the Mangekyou Sharingan of his youngest son…

But the Godaime and her advisors, including his own heir – seemed to chalk it up to Sasuke's close friendship with Naruto.

Again, Fugaku shuddered to think of what could have happened during the Akatsuki's invasion, had his youngest son and their jinchuuriki not shared this close bond.

So suffice it to say, the patriarch knew not to underestimate his shrewd wife or dismiss her sage counsel.

Still, the Chief couldn't help but think that there was an easier way to resolve all of this.

Because he and Mikoto both knew full well what this was really all about.

After following his wife to their futons and tucking her securely into the comforter, he settled himself into the blankets beside her but couldn't stop thinking about his youngest. He ran a callused hand tiredly over his face, wondering why the hell they hadn't just pushed for a straightforward omiai in the first place.

* * *

Sasuke couldn't sleep.

He sat up in bed and ran both hands through his hair in frustration, wishing he could scream at the top of his lungs.

He couldn't get over his own senseless behavior, or the image of his confused and disheartened girlfriend gaping at him earlier that week at the onsen.

Of course, being the total shitheads they were, Naruto and Shisui fled the scene as soon as they saw what was what... leaving him to bear the full brunt of Sakura's wrath alone.

Suffice it to say, he'd fucked up.

Big time.

 _Again._

When Sasuke mindlessly ripped through that bamboo divider, he ended up cannonballing into the mixed bathing pool...

Only to find Sakura and Auntie Hitomi wearing identical, modest, one piece bathing suits… along with Madara, dressed in swimming trunks.

The geezer was apparently doing physical therapy exercises in warm water to help alleviate his leg pain and improve his overall mobility and range of motion.

Sasuke was, of course, butt naked and clutching onto nothing but a small white towel to cover up his… bits.

And Sakura was _PISSED_.

But even worse, she was disappointed in him.

His insides curdled just thinking about their exchange.

" _Sasuke-kun… WHAT ON EARTH were you thinking?!_ "

" _Why is Oba-san here_."

" _Wha… – WHAT? What does that have to do with anything?! Why else would she be here?! Hitomi-san needs to observe so she can assist Madara-sama with these exercises when he's at home_."

" _Why did you mask your chakra_."

" _Because you're the one who warned me to always mask when I'm at the onsen so perverts and peepers wouldn't know I was here! Isn't that why you masked, too?_ "

" _Hn._ "

" _Sasuke-kun, that's… that's NOT a real word. I don't know what's gotten into you lately, but I am so SO very disappointed in you. Just look at what you've done!_ "

FUCK. IT. ALL.

Why was it so hard for him to think rationally whenever Sakura was concerned?

He overheard her conversation with Madara on the other side of that bamboo divider, and stupidly assumed they were naked in the onsen together doing… unspeakable things, and just _blanked_.

It was like a switch had flipped in his head, and Sasuke tried to understand why and how he'd lost his shit so badly.

And while he hadn't seen a trace of his girlfriend since that latest debacle, he did overhear snippets of gossip around the compound about how she and Madara had taken walks together in the marketplace; how he'd been dancing with her in his private gardens; and how he'd taken to writing poetry for her, of all things.

 _WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK_. Why couldn't anyone see how weird this was?!

He couldn't find a single person who was being sensible about any of this.

Even his own Kaa-san… She and Auntie Hitomi couldn't stop babbling about how 'wonderful' it was that Madara was getting out of the house; how the fresh air and Sakura's company seemed to 'soften' his sharp edges; how patient and affectionate he was as he explained the art of the tea ceremony to his precious medic; how he was so much more amenable and compliant when Sakura was caring for him…

In fact, everyone in the compound who'd ever interacted with Madara was shellshocked by how different he was in Sakura's presence.

Madara-sama seemed _happy_ for once. He wasn't the cantankerous, snappish and verbally abusive pill he was so notorious for being.

He seemed more coherent than he'd been in decades, and was just so much more… _alive_.

WHATEVER.

Sasuke didn't care about any of that. The thought of them spending that kind of time together made him want to gouge his eyes out. He needed to pull himself together and THINK.

Tomorrow was White Day, and the day his gift would be delivered to Sakura's office at the hospital.

Sasuke ordered a snow white silk and lace teddy from his girlfriend's favorite lingerie store in the village.

At least, he hoped it was her favorite. His razor sharp vision had noticed, on more than one occasion, that most of her underclothing had the same discreet little gold tag from an exclusive boutique in the civilian district.

The piece was admittedly tiny, and left little to the imagination – but was still tasteful, and constructed with a beautiful, imported lace that he thought Sakura would like.

He hoped it wasn't too forward of him. He figured the teddy wasn't all that dissimilar to the tantalizing pieces she'd worn for him in the past, so he hoped she'd be happy with this one, too.

He paid the boutique a premium for morning delivery, so he planned on heading over to the hospital just before lunch time to personally wish Sakura a happy White Day.

He would apologize profusely for his stupidity over the past week, and hoped that she would accept his words of remorse and tell him all was forgiven.

Then, maybe… she'd be open to having steamy make-up sex with him in her office?

 _Hopefully?_

Sasuke shook his head. He was getting ahead of himself. First things first – he had to apologize, and try to come up with some not insane explanation for his nutass behavior as of late.

The young Uchiha heaved a deep sigh, and hoped to Kami that this plan would finally set things right.

* * *

 **A/N:** Hello everyone! First of all, what a trying week this has been. I sincerely hope everyone and their loved ones are safe and healthy during these difficult times. I also wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who took the time to leave feedback on the last chapter. I can't tell you how encouraged I was to hear from beloved regular readers, and many wonderful new folks and Guests alike! The increase in feedback was such a huge motivator for me, and I tried to complete the rewrite for this latest chapter as soon as I could. Thank you for considering my last author's note, and responding in kind. I appreciate your engagement more than words can express. As always, please let me know if you enjoyed this latest Ch 4!


	5. Everything

"Cripes, Forehead. Did you really give all these fools chocolates?"

Ino shook her head in disbelief as she looked for an empty spot for Sakura's latest floral arrangement. "I mean, not that I'm complaining. The White Day orders we get for you alone probably offsets any losses we'll have for the month."

Sakura shot her a dry look. "Don't exaggerate, Pig. And before you run off starting rumors, no. I didn't give all these people chocolates. I think most of them are former patients who just wanted to say thank you for treating them."

"Sure, sure. What about your grouchy, prosaic ape. What did he get you this year?"

Sakura narrowed her eyes at the insult, but slumped into her chair all the same. "I haven't gotten his gift yet. Although, I don't know..."

"Don't know what? Are you finally dumping him? I mean really, could he be any less romantic?!"

"Calm down. And stop shitting on him every chance you get. Sasuke-kun… he might not be one for grand gestures, but he's sincere and loving in his own way. Except – "

Ino triumphantly smirked. "I knew it! Nobody's gonna blame you if you kick his boring ass to the curb. Sage's balls, when's the last time he took you out dancing, or to the movies, or on any kind of actual _date_ date?"

"Shut up, Pig. I'm talking about something else. He's been… I'm worried. I don't know what's gotten into him lately."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… he ambushed my patient at the onsen earlier this week when I was supervising a hydrotherapy session; and before that – "

The girls were interrupted by a message from the hospital's main reception desk.

"Haruno-sensei? We have a delivery for you. May I send the courier to your office?"

Sakura leaned into her intercom. "Sure Minami-san, thank you."

Ino wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, and answered the quiet knock on the door a few minutes later. Sakura signed for the box and waited for the courier to leave before eyeing her package.

She carefully removed the satin ribbon and lifted the lid to find a pile of lightly scented tissue paper secured with an elegant gold sticker bearing a familiar logo.

' _Six Senses Lingerie_ '

"Look at that, Forehead... _niiiice_!"

Sakura pursed her lips, but couldn't hide her excitement as she carefully removed the gold sticker and sifted through the tissue paper…

Only to gape at the gifts she found underneath.

* * *

When Sasuke reached the hospital, he immediately sensed his girlfriend's chakra fluctuating abnormally.

He knew she couldn't be in the middle of surgery. No matter how difficult a procedure was, Sakura was a seasoned professional – the best of the best. Even in the throes of combat, she wasn't one to let her immaculate control falter.

In fact, it took a lot for her chakra to pulse erratically like this.

Ironically, she only ever got this way when she was sad, or distressed… like when she watched those ridiculous soap operas on television, or cried while reading her stupid romance novels.

 _What the hell…_

As soon as he reached the floor of her office, he caught a glimpse of her sprinting towards the nearest elevator. They made eye contact for a split second – as she brushed away a tear and jammed the elevator buttons to close the door on him as quickly as possible.

Why was she trying to get away from him?

Sasuke didn't know what was going on, but his confusion devolved into a sense of dread at the sight of Ino stomping out of Sakura's office.

When she noticed the tall, muscular Uchiha in the hallway, she pointed an accusatory finger at him with one hand, while fisting her hip with the other.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that? What were you thinking, dumbass?!"

Sasuke blinked hard, before finding his voice. "What are you screeching about?"

"Oh _please_. Don't act like you don't know! Would it kill you to act like a normal boyfriend for once?! And treat her to a little bit of romance? Of all the things you could have gotten her… Of all the things you could have written!"

Sasuke tried to appear unaffected, but it was difficult when such a loud and nasty troll was wagging her finger in his face.

He clenched his jaw and swiftly moved around her. It only took three long strides down the hallway to reach his destination. As soon as he stepped inside Sakura's office, he was assaulted with the sight of endless white flower arrangements, to his immediate aggravation.

 _Those fucking fanboys_ … _always with the flowers, and the cards, and the_ –

His internal tirade was interrupted at the sight of an opened white box on Sakura's desk. He leaned over and sifted through the mess of perfumed tissue paper when he noticed the gold sticker.

 _Six Senses Lingerie_ … This was it.

Did she not like it? What was the problem?

Sasuke rubbed the back of his neck as he wondered what he could have possibly done wrong this time, when he noticed a small glint of metal peeking out from one corner of the box.

Curious, he picked up what looked like a chain and realized that it was snagged onto some sort of… netting.

 _What?_

He picked up the mysterious chain and the netting it was attached to, and immediately felt all of the blood drain from his face.

Upon closer inspection, what he'd lifted from the box was a pair of raunchy, crotchless white fishnet stockings along with a matching cupless underwire bustier that was clearly several sizes too big for Sakura's 32C bust.

And if that wasn't bad enough – the pieces came with two white tasseled nipple clamps attached to a metal _choke chain_.

Sasuke's shaking hands stilled at the sight of a small open envelope next to the box. He snatched the card and read the message with trepidation and horror.

 _Hey Baby,_

 _You're definitely my main bitch._

 _xoxo, S_

* * *

 _LATER THAT NIGHT…_

 _._

Itachi felt a strong gloved hand on his shoulder.

"Well, if it isn't the man of the hour. Shouldn't you be looking a little more enthused, Fukucho–sama?"

The Uchiha heir looked up to find the imposing form of none other than Hatake Kakashi. The older jounin looked at him with a droll smirk, before pouring him a shot of whiskey.

"Thank you for coming, Taichou. I know this must be a significant imposition of your time."

Kakashi grimaced. "Mah, someone had to drag those two along." He gestured at a table behind him, where a confused looking Naruto and a clearly agitated Sasuke were deep in the throes of a heated conversation.

"And what did I say about calling me that? I haven't been your Taichou in ages; it makes me feel old."

Itachi lightly huffed as he rotated his glass between his thumb and middle finger. "If I don't get to call you Taichou, you certainly don't get to refer to me as Fukucho-sama."

Kakashi arched a silver brow before shrugging. "Fair enough."

As the men clinked their glasses, the Copy Ninja took his alcohol in a single shot, while Itachi opted to sip his poison slowly. Mercifully, Kakashi didn't give him a hard time about it and peered out into the crowded bar instead.

"Why do I get the sense that this was really planned to be more of a fun little diversion for Shisui than your actual bachelor party?"

Itachi curled his lip and moved to pour his former captain another shot in lieu of responding verbally.

Sitting at this familiar bar with Kakashi brought back old memories for the stoic Uchiha. He remembered having his very first drink here with his former ANBU squad, and the many nights they'd spent crouched over these well-worn tables in silence… trying to shed the aftershocks of their bloody missions with every shot of liquor they pounded.

In many ways, Itachi was grateful to the man sitting beside him: for always having his back and believing in him despite his young age; for always reminding him that despite the violence they carried out for the sake of the village, there was intrinsic value in holding onto one's humanity... and never forgetting that one _always had choices;_ that it was imperative to look _underneath the underneath..._

And that no comrade, under any circumstances, should be abandoned or left to struggle with something all alone.

Itachi valued Kakashi's unapologetic honesty. He knew that the older man spoke from his own tragic experiences, and always emphasized that while isolation might seem like the easier path -it was never the right one.

The Uchiha heir thought back to those clandestine missions he was assigned during his early days in ANBU; how he was just a child when he first joined. He recalled how the abject brutality of his life as a shinobi could have warped his fragile psyche and twisted his impressionable mind into something dark and unsalvageable… had it not been for the friendship, guidance and stabilizing influence of Shisui and the silver haired nin sitting beside him.

As if reading his thoughts, Kakashi gave Itachi's shoulder a firm, reassuring squeeze.

The young Vice-Commander looked to his former Taichou with a rare familiarity. "You know, Senpai… I could not have imagined entrusting Sasuke to anyone else."

Kakashi snorted. "Funny you say that, when he's been walking around with a busted face for the better part of the week."

If Itachi was any other man, he would have laughed. He remembered seeing a very panicked Sasuke in his room earlier that evening, clutching his own hair in a death grip whilst mumbling something incoherent about a White Day gift gone horribly wrong.

Both men exhaled deep sighs. It seemed Sasuke was genuinely in dire straits with his female teammate, and they wondered how he planned on getting out of it this time.

* * *

Towards the end of the night, after Itachi had taken the time to greet every friend and colleague that came to his bachelor party – he, Kakashi and Shisui finally headed to the back table where Sasuke and Naruto were drinking themselves into oblivion.

"Nee neeeeeee Itachi-nii… Congratulations on your wedding and all… but Hinata-chyaaaan is the prettiest girl in the world! She looks just like Princess Gale dattebayo!"

The older nin smirked at Naruto's slurred but enthusiastic gushing over the shy Hinata, while Sasuke shot his best friend a thinly veiled look of disgust.

The idiot was always blithering on and on about his girlfriend in public. Didn't he know how unseemly that was? Nobody needed to hear that sappy shit.

"I knit Hinata-chan a scarf for White Day… she was so happy she cried! I also got her a gift card to Ichiraku, the best ramen-ya in the world!"

Kakashi thoughtfully scratched his masked chin. "Oh? I didn't know you could knit, Naruto."

"Sakura-chan helped me! And she fixed my face!"

Sasuke wanted to chidori himself in the head. Noticing his baby cousin's despair at the mention of his estranged girlfriend, Shisui decided to give him a break for once and quickly shifted the conversation.

"Whatever, blondie. My White Day gift would've topped yours for sure, if that stupid store hadn't fucked up my order."

"Ehhh? What happened, Shisui-nii?"

"I ordered my girl some hella freaky crazy hot shit from their catalog, but they sent her this boring teddy thing instead." Shisui rolled his eyes before downing another shot. "Still sexy, I guess, but definitely not as exciting as the stuff I picked. I called the store to complain, and apparently they had multiple orders under the name 'Uchiha-san' so the shop mixed them up. It's some fancy place, too. What the fuck, man."

Sasuke's tired eyes suddenly shot open at hearing his cousin's story.

 _Shisui ordered some "hella freaky crazy hot shit"… but the shop mixed up his order and delivered a teddy instead?_

"WHERE."

All eyes turned to Sasuke, and his one-word demand. " _WHERE_ , Shisui."

"Where what?"

"WHICH STORE are you talking about," Sasuke tried to keep his voice level, but between the alcohol coursing through his veins and the mass panic solidifying in his gut - he couldn't help gritting the words through his teeth.

"Six – uh… six something?" Shisui's own inebriated state didn't help, but Sasuke heard enough.

"Six Senses?"

"Yeah! That's it, the lingerie place." He winked suggestively at Itachi, who palmed a hand over his face as he quickly pieced together what happened.

Naruto blinked hard once, twice, and then again for a third time. Clearly still confused, he was trying to figure out what was going on when his best friend suddenly lunged over the table towards his older cousin with a fierce growl.

* * *

Both of Sasuke's hands clutched the high collar of Shisui's shirt with a vengeance.

"Shisui… _you fucking_ … How could… and – YOU… the CARD – !"

Kakashi clucked his tongue before turning a detached gaze towards his former kouhai. "Shisui, what exactly did you order from this store?"

As Shisui enthusiastically described the items he purchased and the 'affectionate' card he included " _because I'm good like that_ ", the men of Team 7 and the groom-to-be sat in stunned silence.

"You called your girl your main bitch?!" Naruto's eyes bugged out of his head and his mouth fell open at hearing what Shisui wrote in his card.

He'd been thoroughly educated in the strict rules of what men were and were NOT permitted to call women by his female teammate, and he was pretty sure calling any woman your 'bitch' was a reliable way of ensuring one's swift (and painful) demise.

 _Did Shisui-nii have a death wish_?!

Itachi turned to his heaving brother. "If there was a card included in the box, then surely Sakura-san would know that this... gift, was not from you."

Sasuke turned to his Nii-san with wild eyes. "The card was signed "xoxo, **S** ".

All of the color drained from Naruto's face as he finally understood the implications of this mess. He turned to his best friend with a bleak expression and whispered,

"Teme… _Sakura-chan's gonna KILL you_."

* * *

Given that Kakashi took it upon himself to haul a blacked out Naruto back to his apartment, Itachi and Shisui found themselves carrying a very drunk Sasuke out of the bar.

"Ne, Itachi. When did our chibi grouch get so big? I don't remember him being so tall and… heavy."

Itachi smiled wryly over Sasuke's shock of hair sticking out all over the place.

"Oba-chan's gonna flip if she sees him like this; we gotta sober him up first." Shisui stopped in the middle of the road and cocked his head towards a narrow alley. "Yamashiro's?"

Itachi nodded and they moved in the direction of the late night izakaya.

Immediately recognizing their illustrious Fukucho-sama, the hostess seated them in a small corner room separated from the main floor by a shoji to afford them a bit more privacy.

When they finally got Sasuke situated, Shisui muttered, "I knew we should have gone to a strip club instead."

He huffed at Itachi's sharp eyes.

"What? Excuse me for wishing I was in the company of a beautiful woman instead of lugging this lump around." He jabbed a finger at Sasuke's cheek.

"I mean seriously, who knew? I've seen little pinky hot stuff skip through the gates with him slumped over her shoulder like it was nothing."

" _S'not… pinky_."

The cousins looked over at a heavily inebriated Sasuke, who was trying his best to glare at them through half lidded eyes.

"What?"

" _Name's not 'pinky'… it's SAKURA, and she's my girlfriend_."

Shisui gave Itachi a knowing smirk. "Is that so?"

" _Yes, it IS. And don't talk about her like she's just another pretty girl with a tight ass_."

Shisui bit his cheek, trying hard to keep a straight face despite his baby cousin's heavy slurring.

"Ohhh? What is she, then?"

Sasuke straightened his back as best he could and gripped the edge of the table. " _She's - the chief surgeon at… Konoha General, and… and_ –"

The young jounin slumped back onto his heels and cradled his pounding head. "… _and she – and… I… I don't_ – "

Itachi took a long look at his little brother's tortured expression, and caved. He placed a comforting hand over his otouto's back, much like he used to do when he was little. He spoke in a gentle tone, but immediately cut to the chase.

"What do you want from her, Sasuke?"

His otouto looked up at him with bleary eyes, but didn't hesitate to answer.

" _Everything, Nii-san. I want… everything_."

* * *

The older nin at the table were momentarily stunned, but not at all surprised by Sasuke's slurred confession.

" _But it doesn't matter now… she's - she's gonna leave_."

Itachi raised a brow at Shisui, who just shrugged in response. "What makes you think that?"

" _I'm a shit boyfriend… and Mad'ra… dances with her_."

Shisui raised a brow, amused by this stilted rationale. "Uhhh, so what? Madara's fucking old, kid. He's gonna kick the bucket, like… any day now."

" _S'not about him_ ," Sasuke growled in frustration. " _It's just… now she's – she's gonna leave and find someone to_ …"

Sasuke looked pained as he struggled to speak, "– _to dance with, and picnic with and… and – all that other shit girls want_."

The youngest Uchiha grumbled, stifling his words with a palm over his face.

Itachi heaved a deep sigh. "Foolish otouto…" He took hold of Sasuke's wrist and pulled his hand away. "Do you really have so little faith in your bond with Sakura-san?"

"Yeah, use your head, doofus. We're talking about the Hokage's apprentice – she can have anyone. Don't you think she would've dumped you by now if she really wanted all that other stuff?"

Itachi narrowed his eyes at their cousin. He was starting to get a better sense of where Sasuke's insecurities about his relationship may have come from.

The youngest Uchiha had a look of defeat that neither of them had seen before. " _Said so herself… she's dis'ppointed in me… and I fucked up her gift_ …"

Sasuke recalled the last time he saw Sakura - the hurt in her eyes because of that disastrous White Day gift and even worse card; the tear that she hastily wiped from her cheek as she closed the elevator doors on him…

His heart clenched just thinking about it.

"That unfortunate… blunder, surrounding your gift was the result of an error that you had no control over, and it wasn't Shisui's fault, either. It is only one White Day, Sasuke. Just one of many holidays that you and Sakura-san have shared over the years."

Itachi refilled Sasuke's water glass and poured him another cup of tea as well.

"I recall, a very brave little Haruno Sakura about this tall," Itachi leveled his hand a few feet off the ground, "…who came to the compound all by herself one Valentine's Day many years ago."

Shisui snickered remembering a tiny six year old Sakura standing squarely in front of the compound guards. He pitched his voice comically high to try and sound like a little girl.

"Konichiwa, Guard-san. My name is Haruno Sakura, and I am here to deliver something to Sasuke-kun!"

Itachi couldn't help smiling at Shisui's ridiculous impersonation and turned to Sasuke once more.

"Did you ever wonder, otouto, how intimidating it must have been for such a small, civilian child to approach the gates of our clan district all by herself, and seek an audience at the main house? Yet, she did so, for you."

Sasuke said nothing, but the softening of his expression prompted Itachi to continue.

"She walked all the way to the opposite end of the village to deliver a small tomato plant. She was the only one of your classmates who not only bothered to learn what you disliked, but took the time to learn what you favored the most. Sakura-san politely knocked on our door and asked me to give you the plant as her Valentine's Day gift.

She asked me to let you know that she loved you with all her heart, and even if you did not return her feelings, that it was alright. She only hoped that you would nurture her gift and enjoy its fruits, the same way she hoped to nurture your friendship."

Shisui thoughtfully chewed on a toothpick before giving Sasuke a wry look.

"Oba-chan said you refused to say thank you for the plant. She also said you threw the White Day gift for Sakura-chan that she prepared for you in the trash. But for whatever weird reason, none of that changed her mind."

Itachi rubbed his tired eyes with his thumb and index finger. "What Shisui is _trying_ to say, is – despite the past hurts you may have caused, Sakura-san has never wavered in her devotion. She has only ever wanted for your happiness, and has always been attuned to your every need."

The Uchiha heir lowered his tea cup. "So the question is, otouto – what makes you think such a tried and true attachment forged through over a decade of shared history could be so easily swayed?"

Sasuke peered down at his glass of water and let his Nii-san's words seep in.

His brother was right. When had Sakura ever wavered in her love for him and their team? Hers was a selfless kind of all-encompassing devotion, like the way his Kaa-san loved their family.

He suddenly felt a firm grip on his shoulder, and was surprised to find Shisui looking at him with an affectionate smile devoid of its usual teasing.

"You know what would happen if I ever met a smart, compassionate, beautiful woman who'd give her life for me without a second thought?"

Sasuke froze as all the air left his lungs.

Shisui chuckled softly before taking a sip of tea. "I'd marry her, Sasuke… in a heartbeat. And spend every waking moment of my life trying my best to be worthy of her."

* * *

 **A/N:** It's not White Day, but it _is_ Sakura's birthday! Happy Birthday to our cherry blossom Queen! :DDD Also, I wanted to share that ever since I read Kuriquinn's "The Girl Who Waited" - I've adopted the headcanon that Sakura gave Sasuke a tomato plant as a child for Valentines Day, so that's where the idea came from! :D (If you haven't read The Girl Who Waited yet - PLEEEEEEEASE give it a read as soon as you can!)

And finally, as always: _Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart to everyone who took the time to write a review on the last chapter. I am always thrilled and grateful to hear from my beloved regular readers, new readers and Guests alike._ **I don't write for myself, and your feedback is what motivates me to try and get out new chapters as soon as I can**.

And to the guest who is currently sick and in quarantine: I am thinking of you and your family, and hope that you are on your way to recovery (AND, I think I might be able to do something about your request) ;P

For everyone else: if you enjoyed this chapter, please let me know through your reviews! Kindly remember that clicking a favorite and/or follow button is no substitute for leaving feedback. Thank you for your understanding, and I hope to hear from more of you in the future! (P.S. if you're on tumblr, I hope you'll swing by and say hello! I'm birkastan2018 over there as well~ :D)


	6. He tried, y'alls he really did

Sasuke couldn't sleep that night.

Shisui's words threw him back to that fateful day; his Sharingan seared the horrors he'd witnessed into his memory like a series of moving stills, each one as clear as a photograph.

He remembered his Nii-san battling the Pein called Yahiko, leaving Shisui and Kakashi to fight the bounty hunter Kakuzu, while Team 10 took on his partner Hidan. He felt the blazing pulse of Naruto's chakra in the distance as he raged against another Pein, while his signature shadow clones rushed to extend Kurama's defensive cloak over the residential areas of the village where people were still being evacuated.

But Sakura…

 _Where was Sakura_?!

It all happened too quickly for Sasuke to register. He'd just defeated the one known as Kisame, when another one of Pein's bodies materialized out of nowhere and launched a chakra missile straight at him.

Sasuke knew his mental calculation of the rod's trajectory was flawless. There was no way to dodge it. It was moving so quickly he could barely gauge its speed, even with his Sharingan activated to the third tomoe.

His last thoughts were of Sakura's wide jade eyes, full to bursting with all of her love.

And he recalled the bizarre feeling that he'd felt the weight of her gaze before, so far before…

 _As if he'd known that look in her eyes from a time long past._

But he was ripped from that thought when he sensed his girlfriend's chakra approaching at a speed he didn't know she was capable of.

Before he could blink, Sakura jumped down in the path of the projectile - her chest impaled straight through by the chakra rod intended for him, and her body covered in the dark ribbons of what he later learned was the _Sōzō Saizei_ , a kinjutsu that she'd never released before.

He remembered the blood pouring out the sides of her weak smile as she whispered,

" _I love you, Sasuke-kun_."

And then there was only pain.

Searing pain in his eyes, and the scorching heat of the Amaterasu that he unleashed for the first time, engulfing the enemy before them in black flames.

* * *

He suppressed a shudder at the memory.

Gods, he was a fool.

Sasuke finally understood why his Nii-san always argued with their father and the elders against relying on the Sharingan so much; why Itachi warned him against using their kekkei genkai as a crutch:

 _Having their feared eyes didn't make one all seeing._

Instead of recognizing Sakura's enduring, unconditional love for what it was – he'd been cowardly, and gave himself over to useless worrying instead.

Sasuke puffed out his cheeks and exhaled a deep, clarifying breath.

FUCK. THAT.

Sakura gave him her whole heart when they were children, and he'd been entrusted with it ever since.

He'd damn himself before he failed her.

Shisui was right, and Sasuke finally knew what he wanted to do… what he needed to do. He vowed not to waste another second fecklessly wallowing in his insecurities. He was going to step up to be the partner his girlfriend expected and deserved.

* * *

While Sasuke wanted nothing more than to seek out Sakura straight away, he needed to gather his thoughts. He had to find the right words.

His _own_ words.

And even though he was utter shit at things like this, he needed to figure out what to say that could possibly encapsulate everything he felt about her...

 _And all that he hoped for and wanted for them._

He had two days between Itachi's bachelor party and when he'd see her at the wedding to really think clearly for once. And while those two days were a chaotic maelstrom of last minute fittings, rehearsals, meetings with the monk and shrine maidens, and endless family gatherings with the elders – Sasuke tried his best to tune out all the noise and focus on what was really important:

Coming to terms with everything he was feeling, and trying to find the right words to convey them.

When the morning of the wedding finally arrived, Sasuke dutifully put on the montsuki his mother had custom tailored for the occasion.

And despite the itchiness and discomfort he felt at having to wear such a cumbersome garment, he'd found a personal calm with the realizations he'd come to over the past few days.

* * *

Uchiha customs dictated that the actual shinzen kekkon could only be witnessed by clan members, as it took place at the sacred Naka Shrine. As a result, Sasuke spent several hours going through their family procession up to the shrine and sitting through the san-san-kudo ceremony without his girlfriend, before heading back to the main house gardens for the reception.

As he returned to the center of the compound with his family, he felt a twinge of anxiety at the prospect of finally seeing Sakura.

He knew she was there. He faintly sensed her chakra all morning long, and her signature only felt stronger the closer he got to the main house.

He just couldn't see her.

Looking out into the sea of guests, he noticed some familiar faces - like his former sensei dressed sharply in a black suit, standing next to Captain Yamato and Uzuki Yūgao, a kunoichi who served with his Nii-san in ANBU.

He also noticed the Dobe standing next to his nervous girlfriend, taking bites out of a half-eaten harumaki while animatedly talking to her father at the same time.

Sasuke couldn't help snorting at the sight of his blond teammate spraying crumbs in the Hyuuga patriarch's dour face as he spoke.

It was clear that Hiashi was… perturbed, by Naruto's lack of manners. While Sasuke agreed that his best friend was disgusting, he also couldn't care less what Hinata's father thought.

That man was a douche. After all, if it wasn't for his idiot teammate, the Hyuuga compound would have been reduced to a pile of splinters during Pein's attack… so whatever. The old prick could deal.

Sasuke ran a nervous hand through his already unruly hair. He'd catch up with everyone else later. First, he needed to find his girlfriend.

Where was Sakura?

Turns out, he didn't need to wonder for much longer. Because when he followed the bend in the stone path towards the west side of the gardens, he finally found what he was looking for.

* * *

Sasuke stopped in his tracks. He took a moment to soak in the sight of Sakura standing on the arch of the soribashi overlooking his mother's prized koi pond.

She looked like a vision out of an exquisite painting, and he didn't know how many times it was going to take before he got used to seeing her like this.

Maybe he never would. This certainly wasn't the first time he'd seen her dressed up… and she was always beautiful in his eyes, regardless of her external appearance.

But there was just something about the way she looked at that moment.

Was it the way her porcelain skin took on the soft, warmer hues of the setting sun? Or was it the way her green eyes seemed to reflect the light rippling off the water below? Or was it the way a few wayward tendrils of her pastel hair escaped her elegant updo and teased the expanse of her slender neck?

Suddenly, it hit him.

While all of those things – her skin, her hair, her eyes – were undeniably alluring, tonight it was her furisode that captured his special attention.

He'd never seen her in such a darkly dyed kimono before. The rich, navy silk of her robe paired with that blood red obi made his breath hitch… and in that instant, he knew exactly why.

Those were _Uchiha_ colors… the signature shades of his clan.

Sasuke regained the presence of mind to look around, and noticed that he wasn't the only one appreciating the view. Sakura always drew stares wherever she went, but this was at another level. There was no mistaking the way fellow guests were ogling her, and while normally, this would have gotten his hackles rising – he tried to tamp down any feelings of irritation.

He reminded himself that this was Sakura, and there would always be someone – a patient, a fellow nin, a dignitary, a co-worker at the hospital, a vendor at the market, _whoever_ , who would want her attention.

But the reactions of those around them wasn't important, and all of these other guests were inconsequential.

The only thing that mattered was their bond.

Sustained by this knowledge, he took sure strides to close the distance between them.

Sasuke took care to steel himself before Sakura could turn around to face him. He knew his words would falter if he looked into her eyes, so he chose to focus on the rhombus of her yin seal instead.

Before she felt compelled to break the silence, he started in a clear voice:

"Sakura, I'm sorry about this past week. I've been crazy, and… stupid."

There was a faint gasp at her sharp intake of breath, and he didn't need to look to know that her eyes were probably taking up half her face.

But he soldiered on, determined to give her the sincere and thorough apology that she deserved.

"And I didn't mean to imply that you don't know how to handle your practice. You are my teammate. I know better than anyone that you're the best of the best at what you do."

Still avoiding eye contact, Sasuke took another deep breath and continued. "And I'm really sorry about that White Day gift. That isn't what I got for you, and that was not my card."

Sakura was floored. She'd never heard her Sasuke-kun apologize like this before, and she could tell from his tone and strained expression that he was deeply remorseful for everything that happened.

She slowly placed one of her perfectly manicured hands on his forearm, silently willing him to meet her gaze.

And when he finally did, he knew everything would be okay.

Sasuke felt overwhelming relief at seeing that familiar empathy in her eyes. He took comfort in knowing that this woman – his teammate, his friend, his lover, his _partner_ – understood him.

And hadn't she always? Even when they were genin, Team 7 always shared an unspoken language. It baffled most of the village; the way they could ease into battle formations without uttering a single word; the way they read each other's body language; all of the silent ways they communicated with one another...

And then, his relief gave way to gratitude - for this incomparable kunoichi in his life, and all of the ways she made him whole.

* * *

Time passed quickly after that with Sakura securely by his side. While Sasuke was relieved that he managed to express his apologies in a way that his girlfriend deemed fit to accept, he still struggled to find the perfect moment to say everything else he longed to tell her.

It was difficult when she was so eager to catch him up on everything that had been happening with her since he returned from his last mission.

"I've missed you so much, Sasuke-kun. There's so much I want to tell you!"

As much as Sasuke wanted to continue the speech that he'd carefully crafted over the past few days, he couldn't help the slight tilt of his lips as Sakura energetically described the recent surgeries she'd undertaken, her favorite bakery's new anpan that she couldn't live without, the progress she and Shizune were making on a complex new poison from Kumo…

When her cheerful updates came to an end, she turned to him with a bright smile and lovingly grazed the back of her hand over the lapel of his haori.

"You look so handsome in your montsuki, Sasuke-kun."

He swallowed thickly as his dark eyes took in her heavenly figure swathed in indigo silk. Sasuke gently placed a hand on her obi and met her affectionate gaze.

"You look beautiful… I've never seen you wear these colors before."

Sakura's delicate cheeks flushed at the compliment, as she nervously worried her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Ah, well… it was a gift."

Sasuke tilted his head ever so slightly. _When did Kaa-san have this made for Sakura_?

"When I went to check in on Madara-sama yesterday evening, Hitomi-san had this waiting for me."

"Oba-san had this made for you?"

"No, actually… she said Madara-sama instructed her to gift it to me."

Sasuke tried to shake off his discomfort at hearing this. He simply nodded, and responded as graciously as he could.

"That was… generous of him."

Sakura's eyes warmed at his reaction. "I told Hitomi-san that I couldn't possibly accept such a lavish gift. But shortly after that Mikoto-san arrived, and insisted that I accept it and wear it to the wedding."

Sasuke arched a brow. _So Kaa-san knew about this_?

"Apparently, it is a very old garment, you see… It was made years and years ago, but had never been worn. Hitomi-san said it was carefully stowed away all this time in one of Madara-sama's personal storage rooms. Which is odd, because it fits like a glove. Don't you think?"

Yes, it really did.

Which was unusual, to say the least.

Sasuke didn't care for or know much about frivolous things like fashion. But even he knew from his recent experiences with their clan tailor, and from seeing his mother get fitted for kimonos over the years, that traditional formal wear (especially for women) was extremely costly and required exact measurements of the wearer, along with multiple fittings to ensure that the garment was made correctly.

He took another detailed looked at his girlfriend, and she was right.

This furisode fit her perfectly – the length of the sleeves and lower hem, the width of the collar, and the placement of the intricate embroidery… everything about it was cut and constructed as if it was tailor made for Sakura.

 _How strange._

"At any rate, it feels bittersweet to be wearing this."

"Why."

"Because… Madara-sama just took a turn for the worst. He's been completely unresponsive since the day before yesterday, and Shishou said he'll likely pass on any moment now."

Sasuke didn't know what to say. While he definitely was not a fan of that ornery jackass, he did worry about how this development might affect Sakura.

His concern must have showed, because Sakura gave him a small, but genuine smile in reassurance.

"It's okay, Sasuke-kun. Of course, it's always sad when a patient's condition deteriorates. But in palliative care, at least you see it coming... And from what everyone tells me, he was more active and his body seemed to have a better handle on the pain this past week than he'd had in years. So I'm relieved that the care he received in these finals days improved his quality of life, at least a little."

Not for the first time, Sasuke marveled at Sakura's inner strength and professionalism. There were no words to describe the extent of her empathy and consideration for others, and he was grateful that his family was fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of her compassionate care and attention.

* * *

The young couple didn't have time to dwell on Madara's condition for much longer, because they soon found themselves being greeted by this person and that person, and pulled into endless conversations with different parties.

Sasuke was finding it impossible to carve out a private moment with Sakura. There was still so much he needed to tell her, but it was hard when she was such a firm favorite everywhere she went.

He didn't know how to pull her aside, especially when she actually seemed to enjoy talking to everyone. He didn't want to disrupt her good time, especially after the depressing update she'd just given him on Madara.

So, he continued to bide his time as he dutifully escorted Sakura around the garden. She kindly returned greetings from former patients that were eager to say hello and let her know how they were doing, and politely engaged in small talk with his extended family and other fellow guests.

The young couple stopped to say hello to his Auntie Uruchi, who cooed over Sakura's beautiful coloring, while his girlfriend remarked how much she and all of her colleagues at the hospital loved the senbei from his auntie's shop.

Sakura's naturally friendly nature, kind demeanor, and extensive experience working with patients from all walks of life made it easy for her to converse with others about anything and everything.

It took a good hour of mingling before they finally caught up with the newlyweds, as they were making their own rounds among the endless throng of wedding guests.

Sakura waited all evening to personally congratulate Itachi and Izumi on their marriage, and enjoyed an animated chat with the bride over her breathtaking uchikake, before she and Sasuke finally reunited with the rest of their team.

To Naruto's exuberant appreciation, Shisui made his way over to their group with a champagne bottle, several flasks of sake and glasses in both hands. Team 7, Hinata and Shisui settled by a small, but prominent stage erected beside the wagashi tables as they drank and exchanged jokes and pleasantries…

But Sasuke was feeling more frustrated than entertained with every shot of alcohol he downed.

He'd agonized over exactly what he wanted to say to Sakura for days, and was hell bent on telling her everything that was on his mind and in his heart.

The problem was finding a way to start that conversation.

Lost in his own thoughts, Sasuke only noticed the sudden lull in the steady stream of stories that Shisui and Naruto were regaling their group with, when Uchiha Kana took the stage.

Holding a very loud microphone in her withered hands, the catty elder began a long, dry speech that had nothing to do with the couple or their love for one another.

Instead, she droned on and on about how Itachi was the pride of their clan, how he would make an honorable new clan head, how he was a prodigy among prodigies, how Izumi activated her Sharingan before her husband, and all of the same monotonous drivel that the elders loved to harp on to try and emphasize the Uchiha's superiority at every opportunity.

Sasuke swiftly tuned that shit out, and decided this was it.

Yes, they were in the middle of a crowd, and that was far from ideal… but everyone else seemed solely focused on the stage. He knew Sakura wouldn't be interested in anything the elders had to say, which meant this had to be as good a time as any.

He let the liquid courage from the entire flask of sake that he'd just consumed take over, and seized the moment.

Reaching for Sakura's small hand, he leaned closer to her angelic face and noticed her flushed cheeks at his sudden proximity.

In a low tone, he spoke slowly and clearly so there was no chance that she would misunderstand him.

He clung to all that he felt for his pink haired teammate and said:

"Sakura, I – … I love you. You are the only one for me. This is one of the few things in my life that I know with certainty."

He felt her entire body freeze as she absorbed the gravity of his words. When she parted her lips to respond, he shook his head.

"No, please. This is … let me finish. I know I will never deserve you, but… I want so much."

At this point, Sasuke was wracked with so much anxiety, and was so intensely focused on the task at hand, that he failed to notice Shisui taking the stage. (He also failed to notice Kakashi and Hinata's eyes widen as they discreetly stepped away from him, to give the couple some privacy).

Sasuke was focused on Sakura and only Sakura - drowning out everyone and everything else around him.

"I know I don't have the right to ask anything of you… but I want everything, Sakura."

His heart skipped a beat at the tear that escaped her eye, and briefly thought of wiping it away before immediately discarding the thought.

 _Just finish… FINISH FIRST._

Fully engrossed with fulfilling this singular goal, he continued on, frantically speaking faster and faster just to ensure that he'd get everything out!

"I know we're still young, but I want everything _from_ you and _with_ you. I want you to share my life, I want you to take my name…

I want my crest on your back, I want us to make a home together, I wa – …

I JUST – I… I _WANT_ you to –

.

.

.

 **HAVE MY BABIES, FUCK!"**

* * *

 **A/N:** Hello everyone, first and foremost - I hope you and your loved ones are well.

Second, _**I want to thank everyone who not only took the time to read - but left me a comment as well.**_

I think there's this misconception that authors expect fancy essays in the review box... but that couldn't be further from the truth.

Personally, I'm just happy to hear from y'alls. Every comment (as long as it isn't a demand for updates!) means so much to me.

And for those who might not be native English speakers, that's no problem at all. I'd love to hear from you in your native language!

I guess all of this is just to day: THANK YOU TO MY REVIEWERS, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.

I do not identify as a writer, and tbh... this rewrite has been kicking my butt. I can't tell you how much I appreciate hearing from every new reader, Guest, and beloved regular alike!

And for those readers who've followed and favorited the story, but haven't left a review - please remember that clicking a favorite or follow button is no substitute for leaving written feedback.

 _Every_ chapter is difficult to outline, draft, edit and post - so if you enjoy an installment, please take a minute to leave a comment for the fics you are reading before closing the tab and moving on. Feedback is the only thing that keeps writers motivated to keep on doing what they're doing, and it shouldn't be encumbent on the same handful of conscientious readers to leave reviews for every chapter.

Thank you all for your understanding, and I hope to engage with more of you in the future!


	7. Eyewitness Accounts and Other Tea

Shunshin no Shisui was kind of a badass… seriously.

The man was a bona fide lady killer, a deadly ANBU agent, and an all-around smooth operator.

(He'd also like to add that he'd been called a "sex god" on multiple occasions by a not insignificant number of repeat bed partners).

He liked to think of himself as a _Kakashi 2.0. -_ ultra cool, super suave, and not easily phased.

Shisui liked to think he'd pretty much seen and heard all there was to see and hear in his 28 years of life, especially after what he'd survived over the past twelve months.

But this...

 _This was above his pay grade._

He'd been asked in advance to say a few words at the reception, given his close friendship with the bride and groom.

Knowing Itachi's staunch sense of propriety, he reigned in his usual X-rated brand of humor for something more light and family friendly.

He also kept his remarks to a minimum, knowing how irritating it was when people dragged out this sort of thing when all everyone really wanted to do was party and get wasted (himself included).

But just as he was about to peace out and hop back to the open bar - he noticed his crotchety Idaina-obaa on the side of the stage urging him to hand the microphone over to Sasuke, presumably so he could share a moving tribute of his own to his beloved Nii-san and new sister-in-law.

The problem was, Sasuke wasn't watching him.

In fact, the little shit wasn't paying attention to the stage at all or anyone else in general, because he was too engrossed in a conversation with his hot medic.

Thankfully, Naruto noticed what Shisui was trying to do. And, ever the helpful guest – he gestured for the microphone so he could hand it to Sasuke off stage.

So Shisui did, crouching down to pass the mic – which the blond promptly shoved in his best friend's face.

* * *

If Izumi was anything other than an elite jounin and the new matriarch of a noble shinobi clan, she would have dropped her champagne flute.

Her free hand reflexively shot out to grasp her new husband's larger one, when they suddenly heard the voice of her little brother-in-law BOOMING across the gardens.

She swallowed hard before stealing a glance at Itachi, and knew there was no way she misheard what she _thought_ she just heard given the slight widening of his eyes.

While Itachi may have seemed like his usual composed self on the outside, the sudden tightening of his grip around her hand and the minute blanching of his face said it all.

At that moment, the groom sincerely wondered whether he'd done his otouto a disservice after all by discouraging their parents from pursuing an omiai for him.

He recalled his Okaa-san's distressed plea:

" _But Itachi-kun, something must be done. Sakura-chan isn't going to wait around forever, and Sasu-chan is so like your father… He will never consider another, and at this rate – without an omiai, my baby will end up all alone!_ "

At the time, Itachi really didn't think it was in Sasuke's best interest to try and arrange their marriage. Knowing Sakura-san, he figured that: (1) she'd probably find the process completely archaic; and more importantly (2) she'd want Sasuke to pursue a commitment of this magnitude of his own accord.

But somehow, Itachi had a feeling that having Sasuke yell out, "HAVE MY BABIES" (plus choice expletive) over a microphone at his wedding reception probably wasn't what Sakura-san had in mind.

The young clan head pondered the ramifications of his foolish brother's latest romantic blunder.

While he felt terribly that Sakura-san had to experience something so embarrassing, the doting older brother in him still hoped/wished/fervently prayed to every Kami there was that whatever just happened between Sasuke and his girlfriend wouldn't devolve into some unsalvageable wreck.

As for his new wife, well… if her razor sharp eyes read the situation correctly (which they always did) – for the first time in her life, Izumi legitimately wondered whether Uzumaki Naruto would live to see another day.

* * *

Sakura couldn't believe it.

She wasn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but she was a relatively good person, right?

She resisted the urge to clutch her elegant updo and pull out her infamous pink hair by the roots.

She wasn't so horrible, was she? Yes, she'd killed people before, but she was just fulfilling her duties for the sake of the village! At her core, she was a medic first and foremost.

That's right… she dedicated herself to saving lives and helping others!

So why was it, when the love of her life was finally saying the words she'd waited fourteen years to hear...

DID NARUTO HAVE TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP AND SEND THE APEX OF ALL HER ROMANTIC ASPIRATIONS STRAIGHT TO HELL?!

Sakura willed herself to take deep breaths.

She thought about her poor Sasuke-kun, and saw how anxious all of this made him. She noticed the violent flush clinging to his ears and the way it crept down his neck as he spoke; the way his palms were sweating, how his usually smooth voice hitched as he struggled to find his words… and the silent desperation in his dark eyes as he fought to lay bare everything he felt in his heart.

She, of all people, knew how excruciatingly difficult it must have been for him to muster the courage to say what he was trying to say… and in a public setting, no less.

So why, WHY did Naruto have to shove the microphone in his face at the very moment he said _those_ words?!

One minute, she was tearfully basking in the most heartfelt disclosures she'd ever heard… and the next minute, she heard the frantic sound of her boyfriend's voice amplified over the mic –

"HAVE MY BABIES, FUCK!"

Sakura's heart sank. Because this sort of thing had never been Sasuke's forte.

Fearlessly leaping into a bloodbath in the heat of battle was one thing…

But expressing himself verbally in any capacity beyond his daily bickering with Naruto was an entirely different story.

Which is why she'd been solely focused on him during his little speech. She refused to look away from him; she wanted her soothing presence to serve as the anchor he needed to express what he was trying so very hard to say.

Then she wondered – what _else_ might he have said if he had continued on?

What QUESTION might he have asked if he hadn't been interrupted?!

Sakura's blood froze at the realization. At that moment, nothing else mattered... because all she saw, all she felt, was MURDER.

If, by some slim chance, anyone attending that wedding reception didn't already know about Haruno Sakura's monstrously violent, hair trigger temper before…

They certainly knew all about it now.

" ** _NARUTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_**!"

* * *

 _ONE WEEK LATER_ …

.

.

.

So it turned out, Naruto survived Itachi-nii and Izumi-nee's wedding reception after all.

 _Barely_.

Looking back on that crazy night, he couldn't deny that for a split second, he saw his life flash before his eyes. And if it wasn't for Shisui-nii and his former sensei's lightning fast reflexes, he probably would've been pummeled to an unrecognizable pulp from the sheer force of his female teammate's mighty fists.

But everything was all good now, because Teme and Sakura-chan were getting married!

All's well that ends well, right?

Granted, it's all everyone in the village could talk about... and Ino swore it was the worst proposal she'd ever heard of, if not the shittiest proposal to have ever been made in the history of proposals.

But whatever.

Naruto knew Sasuke through and through. He was, after all, his brother from another mother.

They were Team 7, and while they may not have shared DNA – the undeniable bonds that he, Kaka-sensei, Sakura-chan and the bastard had with each another were forged in blood, sweat, tears, and hard earned trust.

And that was just as legitimate and indestructible as the bonds Sasuke had with his clan.

Which is why even though Teme seriously sucked _balls_ at talking about his feelings – Naruto knew there wasn't a single cell in his best friend's stuck up body that could ever be insincere when it came to Sakura-chan.

Admittedly, when pressed to consider the details - Naruto conceded that shouting at your girl to have your babies maybe wasn't the best way to go.

I mean, he knew Sasuke didn't exactly have a way with words... but who knew the bastard would spit _that_ out?

Maybe it would've been better for him to just let out a few grunts instead. Sakura-chan would've known what he was getting at. She was good like that.

He knew people were kind of freaking out about how shit went down, but they needed to calm their tits. He really didn't see the point in overthinking any of this.

After all, this was Sasuke– so why was everyone acting like they expected him to wax poetic all of a sudden?

In Naruto's all important opinion, it didn't matter what he said, because nothing would've changed the bastard's awkward delivery.

'Cause that's just who he was.

The only thing that mattered, was that he got his proposal out somehow – and that he and Sakura-chan were happy...

Which made Naruto and Kaka-sensei happy.

Because while it was plain to see that Teme was snobby, grouchy, totally un-funny and way-not-as-handsome-as-his-fangirls-claimed: it was also completely obvious to all and sundry that Sakura-chan was undoubtedly the _**one true love**_ of Sasuke's life.

And you didn't need some fancy doujutsu to see _that_.

* * *

Mikoto dutifully took her husband's flack vest and handed him the casual haori he preferred to wear at home.

After changing, his wife had him sit on the engawa outside their bedroom suite so he could enjoy the good weather along with his evening tea.

Nearly two weeks passed since their heir's wedding. Madara finally took his last breath three days after Itachi and Izumi were married, and while he was laid to rest in the clan's private burial grounds – he also received a public funeral, pursuant to the Shodaime's last will and testament.

Apparently, Senju Hashirama desired Madara's passing to be observed by Konoha as a whole; a deeply sentimental gesture that Tsunade chose to honor.

Even in death, Hashirama wanted to ensure that his best friend was recognized as a co-founder of the village, and the co-architect of their long held childhood dream.

In addition to the village-wide memorial service that was undertaken to commemorate Madara's passing, Uchiha customs required seven additional days of mourning for any former clan head.

Now that the Uchiha had finished observing all of the clan's mandatory funeral rites for Madara, the Godaime sent a message to the main house stating that she wanted to discuss certain matters pertaining to Sasuke and Sakura's engagement.

As Sakura's sole living parental figure, Fugaku and his wife felt they owed Tsunade an apology on behalf of their son (for failing to seek her permission before asking his girlfriend to marry him… among other things).

Frankly, Fugaku still had a hard time understanding how Sasuke's frantic outburst at his brother's wedding reception could possibly count as a legitimate proposal.

The boy hadn't even prepared a ring, for Kami's sake.

I mean, don't get him wrong. He was relieved that things worked out. Fugaku was nothing if not self-aware, and he knew that while Sasuke had the very good fortune of being the spitting image of his mother – he also had the grave and very real misfortune of inheriting his father's emotional constipation.

In short, the boy was a hopeless disaster when it came to romance and needed all the help he could get.

Contrary to what most people assumed, Fugaku was not against his younger son's relationship, nor did he find Sakura's civilian background disqualifying.

Truthfully, he couldn't blame the boy given what a stunning creature his female teammate had become.

And beyond that, she was an absolute hellion in combat. They called her the pink demon; a kunoichi with monstrous strength who possessed a level of chakra control and an acumen for medical ninjutsu that surpassed her master, a _Senju_.

Fugaku knew all too well that the men of the main house had always been drawn to power, and this the Godaime's protégé had in spades.

Which is why he and his wife decided not to ask any more unnecessary questions, and just thanked the gods that little Haruno was so understanding of their youngest son's romantic ineptitude.

"Well Anata, was Tsunade-sama upset that Sasuke had not sought her permission beforehand?"

Fugaku shook his head. "She never raised the subject."

"What did she want to speak about, then?"

The Chief thought back to his meeting earlier that afternoon at the Tower.

Tsunade was already buzzed by the time he'd arrived (" _It's five o'clock somewhere, Fugaku_!") and immediately started chatting about Itachi and Izumi's wedding.

Which admittedly... made him squirm a little.

But to his surprise, the Godaime was really only interested in gloating over Sakura's outburst.

" _People always say I taught that brat everything she knows. But did you hear that scream? That was alllllllllll her._ "

Fugaku fought the urge to roll his eyes. Who in Fire Country _hadn't_ heard it?

Sakura's howl for Naruto's head was nothing short of terrifying. The Chief inwardly marveled at how such a guttural, blood curdling scream could come from such a small person.

He also recalled the insane speed of her arm as it shot out towards her blond teammate…

Had it not been for Hatake's quick thinking and his nephew's body flicker - little Haruno would have snapped Naruto's neck, or blown his brains clean out of his skull with her tiny fist.

" _Although, that wiry arm of hers still wasn't as fast as your nephew's shunshin… She needs to work on that, stat_."

Fugaku had no words. Her apprentice nearly beheaded their Nine Tails jinchuuriki, and _that's_ what this woman took away from it?

Apparently so, because she couldn't stop chuckling at her own remark. It was clear from Tsunade's smug grin that she'd thoroughly enjoyed witnessing the near violent exchange.

Nodding with a fully satisfied look on her face, she'd quipped, " _You know… you and Mikoto really know how to throw a party. But I didn't call you in here just to shoot the shit and exchange pleasantries_."

He wasn't sure he'd characterize what they were just talking about as a "pleasantry", but wisely remained silent.

" _I want to talk about Sakura's dowry_."

Mikoto's onyx eyes widened. "A dowry? What dowry?"

Her husband nodded. Knowing that Sakura's parents were both deceased and that she did not come from a clan, Mikoto and her husband didn't expect a dowry at all.

But he was informed that the Hokage had set aside two trust funds of equal value for Kato Dan's niece and her younger apprentice.

"But Anata, the Godaime is the last of the Senju… even after all her debts were repaid, she must have been left with a considerable sum."

"Indeed."

* * *

After reluctantly dropping Sakura off at Yamanaka's for a "girls' sleepover", Sasuke headed back to the compound for dinner.

While he'd initially hoped that his fiancée could join him, maybe it was just as well given what he wanted to discuss with his Nii-san.

After serving her husband first, Mikoto turned to her new daughter-in-law. "Have more wagyu, Giri-no-musume-chan… and matsutake kinoko."

Izumi blushed at her mother-in-law's updated term of endearment, as she shyly accepted the extra pieces of richly marbled beef and sautéed mushrooms that Mikoto piled onto her plate.

Shisui shamelessly pouted, sticking out his lower lip like a child. "Oba-chan, what about me?"

"Bring home a bride, then we'll talk."

Shisui grumbled, but quickly turned giddy as his auntie placed generous extra servings of beef onto his plate as well.

Fugaku pursed his lips.

 _No wonder that boy is such a carefree lecher… Mikoto spoils him too much_.

Turning once again to her daughter-in-law, Mikoto reminded her, "And when you go home later tonight, don't forget the nanakusa-gayu for your mother."

Izumi didn't have a chance to offer an immediate response as she was in the middle of chewing her food, so her mother-in-law continued.

"I made it with a blend of herbs that Sakura-chan had delivered from Suna. She specifically chose them for their excellent anti-inflammatory properties."

Izumi's heart swelled with appreciation for this kind gesture. _Once a matriarch, always a matriarch._

While Mikoto no longer held the official title, Izumi knew that this selfless woman would never stop fussing over and worrying about every single member of their extensive clan.

Izumi was also well aware that herbs imported from Suna's famed greenhouses were very expensive. Sakura-chan was well known and beloved in Wind Country for having saved Kankuro-dono's life from a dangerous poison, and it was no secret that the Kazekage's household occasionally sent her rare medicinal herbs as a token of their immense gratitude.

"Okaa-san, those herbs must have been difficult to come by. My mother wouldn't feel right taking such a thing, when Sakura-chan had them delivered for you."

Mikoto smiled her concerns away. "Nonsense. She specifically mentioned that Hazuki-san would benefit from these herbs. Even though her hip might not bother her anymore, we cannot be too careful. It wouldn't do for her to re-injure herself."

Izumi finally nodded in acquiescence. Sakura-chan's heart was as big as the ocean was wide, and the young matriarch was overjoyed that soon her family would be able to call this sweetheart one of their own.

When the meal was over, Shisui thanked his favorite auntie with a big kiss on the cheek before teleporting away, while the newlyweds were sent home with a container of nanakusa-gayu for Izumi's mother.

Sasuke joined his older brother after letting his Kaa-san know he'd be taking after-dinner tea at Itachi's new marital home, while Izumi went directly to her mother's to drop off the porridge.

Given that his otouto was the one who initiated the visit, Itachi looked to him as he steeped their tea.

Why was he... fidgeting?

No matter. He'd get it out of him eventually. In the meantime, Itachi decided to open up the conversation with a few updates he thought Sasuke might find interesting.

"So, I trust you already know that our parents declined Sakura-san's dowry, in accordance with your wishes."

Sasuke nodded. Of course they had. While the Godaime's offer was certainly generous, the clan didn't need the money. And most importantly, he found the notion of accepting any form of payment for his marriage to Sakura repulsive at best.

And he'd told her as much.

When the Hokage informed Sakura that she'd be granted custody of the funds upon her marriage whether it was used as a dowry or not, Sasuke made it clear that she should do whatever she wanted with it.

"Sakura-san and I had a meeting with Tsunade-sama this afternoon…"

Sasuke arched a brow ever so slightly. Sakura mentioned the appointment with her Shishou at the Tower, but never said anything about his Nii-san being there.

"… to discuss what she wishes to do with the funds."

Was that it? Sasuke just shrugged.

"You seem wholly disinterested, otouto."

"It's her money. She can do what she wants with it, we don't need it."

As far as Sasuke was concerned, she could buy a mountain of jewelry, a closet full of shoes, a lifetime supply of anmitsu, whatever. He didn't care.

"Sakura-san informed us that she intends to use 100% of the funds to establish a public children's trust; an entity that would provide free medical care and mental healthcare for indigent children, or children who were otherwise at-risk."

Sasuke sat stone still, completely stunned. "Orphans..."

Itachi tilted his head in confirmation. "Do you know what inspired her to do this, otouto?"

Sasuke could only stare dumbly in response.

"Sakura-san said she shuddered to think what Naruto-kun's childhood would have been like had Okaa-san not extended her protection to him growing up. She recognized that our mother's considerable influence as the Uchiha matriarch, and her insistence that Naruto-kun was always welcome at the main house served as an example not only to the other clans, but the civilian sector as well."

Itachi poured their tea before he continued.

"In her professional opinion, Sakura-san believes that absent Okaa-san's efforts, there would have been a high likelihood that the harsh circumstances of Naruto-kun's childhood would have taken a considerable toll on him, physically and mentally.

She cited the Akatsuki's invasion, and questioned whether the criminals known as Yahiko, Konan and Nagato would have harbored such anger and resentment if they had access to mental healthcare when they were younger to help them work through their childhood trauma."

The young clan head took a deep breath and gave his little brother a minute to absorb all of this information.

"Sakura-san wishes to call this entity the " _ **Senju-Uchiha Children's Trust"**_ in honor of her master, who set aside the funds in the first place… and our mother, who had the wisdom and compassion to help the young man she loves and regards as a brother during his formative childhood years.

Incidentally, it is Sakura-san's hope that name recognition alone will go a long way in facilitating future fundraising to keep the work of the trust ongoing."

Itachi inwardly chuckled at this last point. His clever Imouto-to-be really had thought of everything.

"Of course, Tsunade-sama and I have offered her our full support. Sakura-san hopes that extending the trust's work beyond Fire Country's borders will help build good will between Konoha and other hidden villages… and help bolster the fragile peace we enjoy now."

Sasuke was reeling. He never felt so much intense _pride_ before, not even for his clan.

For the first time ever, he thought his heart might actually burst from his chest from all the love he felt for his incredible fiancée.

At that moment, Sasuke knew that even after a thousand lifetimes together, she would never cease to amaze him. Every time he thought he had a handle on her intelligence, her humor, her compassion – she would surprise him and blow all of his expectations out of the water.

Like she did now. Only Sakura would think to use an unexpected, once in a lifetime inheritance of this magnitude to serve the most vulnerable... In consideration of their best friend and teammate's difficult childhood, in honor of her mentor who taught her everything, and the benevolent wisdom of his own mother.

Of course she thought of every detail and exigency. Sakura even considered the possible political ramifications of this undertaking.

If Sasuke was any other man, he might have shed a tear.

There would never be anyone else for him, and he didn't think he could ever feel more proud and grateful that his child would have such a mother.

.

.

.

.

"Sakura's pregnant."

* * *

 **A/N:** Hello everyone! First, I hope you and your loved ones are safe and well.

Second, **this amateur derp could not be more grateful for all of the incredible support you've shown for this silly AU.**

 **I know I've been more vocal than most about reader engagement, so THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for responding in kind and leaving the most uplifting and encouraging comments.**

All of your feedback lit a FIRE under my butt to try and get this chapter 7 out as quickly as possible. I've gotten so many wonderful ideas from hearing your thoughts, and your reciprocation TRULY MEANS THE WORLD to me.

So, thank you once again to everyone who took the time to leave me a comment. And for those readers who've followed and favorited the story, but haven't left a review - kindly remember that clicking a favorite or follow button is no substitute for leaving written feedback.

Thank you all again for your readership, and I hope to see you at the next chapter~!

xoxo, Birk


	8. Bloom

_THREE MONTHS LATER…_

.

.

.

Sasuke returned home from his solo mission shortly before noon, and was met at the gates by his best friend and former sensei.

"Did you break both legs or something?! Hurry up, I need to eat!"

"Yo."

Sasuke gave a curt nod in response to Kakashi, but scowled at Naruto.

"Shut up, I'm three hours early. Where's Sakura."

"Uh… at the hospital."

Sasuke shot a cutting glare at both men. She was usually off on Mondays. "You were supposed to make sure she's not working to death."

Kakashi just shrugged.

"We tried Teme… we really did! Right, Kaka-sensei? We just came from her office, but she was with Ino and her tou-chan and she kicked us out! She said if I bothered her during one of her appointments again, she'd make sure I'd have to take shits through my ear. What does that even mean? Can she really do that?"

Sasuke willed himself not to punch his useless teammate in the face. He was gone for three days while Naruto was in the village, and the idiot had ONE job.

Kakashi lowered his book, presumably to throw Naruto a bone.

"Sakura solicited the Yamanaka's expertise to help craft a baseline mental health treatment plan for her children's trust. Inoichi-san's availability is limited… and you know how she is."

Of course he knew. His wife was a meticulous perfectionist, and wouldn't be satisfied with something until she was certain she'd exhausted every resource and addressed every contingency.

But he supposed things could be worse. At least she was working on something administrative rather than a risky, chakra draining surgical procedure.

After being dragged to Ichiraku for lunch, and being reminded for the hundredth time that he and Sakura were hosting their team dinner that weekend (and " _could Sakura-chan please make his favorite chashyu ramen dattebayo?_ "), he finally headed towards his new apartment near the hospital.

Sasuke briefly thought about dropping by the compound to let his Kaa-san know he'd returned… but remembered that his parents were out of the village.

Apparently, his father thought his mother could use a break after planning and overseeing two main house weddings and helping coordinate a public funeral that all took place in the frenetic span of nine weeks.

To that end, Fugaku whisked his wife away to Yugakure so they could spend some private time together. The Chief also made arrangements to have one of his senior officers take temporary charge of the police force during his unprecedented two week absence.

His father referred to it as a "health retreat", but apparently – it was more like some weird sex vacation.

Sasuke recalled a disgusting bit of information that stupid Shisui volunteered shortly before his parents left.

" _Good thing I told Uncle about that new five star love hotel that just opened in Yugakure! Don't worry, chibi grouch. I already warned him that rotating beds and toys cost extra. Nobody likes hidden fees, amirite?_ "

Sasuke gagged at the thought and swiftly focused on neutralizing the wards and traps at his apartment door instead. Once inside, he took off his nin-sandals and neatly placed them on the shoe rack at the genkan.

After assessing the boxes that were still unopened in the living room, he went to the bathroom to take a shower. Once he finished washing up and changed into a clean set of house clothes, he reached into the drawer of his nightstand to retrieve his wedding ring.

Given that he was now published in the Bingo Book, Sasuke couldn't risk wearing his ring on missions and giving his enemies the chance to learn about his new wife and family. So, he always made sure to take his wedding band off whenever he left the village, but took care to wear his ring at all times when he was at home.

After throwing his dirty mission gear along with the rest of his and Sakura's soiled laundry into the washing machine, he rolled up his sleeves, created three shadow clones, and began unpacking the boxes in their living room.

As he worked, Sasuke still couldn't believe that he was married... to Haruno Sakura.

Admittedly, the last three months were batshit crazy. But given exactly where he was now, he didn't think he'd change anything about how things went down.

He thought back to the night he and Itachi shared after-dinner tea at his new marital home.

He really didn't mean to blurt out the news of Sakura's pregnancy like that, but he was so overwhelmed with everything he was feeling at the time…

Sasuke realized that maybe he should have come up with a plan before seeking his brother's counsel. But he and Sakura only just found out about her condition that morning, and time was of the essence.

In retrospect, he supposed there was something unusual about his fiancée in the weeks leading up to their discovery.

Following Itachi and Izumi's wedding, he noticed that Sakura picked up the unusual habit of adding tōgarashi to everything, even though she typically hated spicy food.

And beyond that, to put it plainly –

 _She became insatiable in the bedroom_.

If she wasn't waking him up in the mornings with her mouth (which inevitably led to _other_ things), she was ambushing him in the shower, in her office when he would drop off her lunch, in the living room while he was writing mission reports…

And keeping him up at all hours of the night.

Sakura had never been shy about initiating sex since the beginning of their physical relationship, but he should have known this was something else entirely (not that he was complaining).

He had no idea pregnancy hormones could make a woman's libido go apeshit. He just thanked his lucky stars and chalked it up to them not having been intimate in a while.

After all, at the time of his brother's wedding – the last time they'd had sex was the night before he left for his recon mission near Kusa.

And neither party had any reason to believe this was even possible, given how religiously Sakura took her daily contraceptive pills.

He recalled her terrified face when she beckoned him into the bathroom to show him her positive home pregnancy test.

But for whatever reason, Sasuke didn't feel the same sense of panic. He held her close and assured her that everything was going to be just fine.

And he fully meant it.

Because for once, Sasuke felt like he was seeing clearly. He no longer agonized over gaining his father's approval, meeting the clan's astronomical expectations, advancing his shinobi rank, etc.

All that mattered was securely in his arms. Sakura was the love of his life, and he was going to be there for her and their baby every step of the way.

When he told his Nii-san the news, it was the only time in Sasuke's life that he'd ever known Itachi to ask anyone to repeat something.

" _Pardon?"_

" _Sakura's pregnant."_

"… _I see. And how do you both feel?"_

" _Happy."_

" _Then Izumi and I are happy for you."_

" _What about the elders."_

" _What about them?"_

" _They'll start shit."_

" _How is that relevant?"_

" _Isn't it?"_

" _Why would it be?"_

Why couldn't Itachi just spit things out? What kind of answer was that?

" _For a shinobi born with a fire affinity, you don't seem to know much about our elemental nature, otouto. Fire can only grow if you fan its flames. Deprive it of oxygen, and it will die."_

Ah, there it was. Only his brother could come up with such a fitting analogy.

" _What about Kaa-san?"_

" _In what universe do you think our mother would be anything less than ecstatic at the prospect of a grandchild?"_

" _And what about Otou-san?"_

" _I repeat – in what universe_ _do you think our mother would be anything less than ecstatic at the prospect of a grandchild?"_

And of course, his Nii-san was right.

* * *

While his mother was clearly touched and very moved when she learned about Sakura's children's trust initiative…

 **All of that paled in comparison to their baby news.**

The thing is, Sasuke (along with rest of the village) was well aware that Uchiha Mikoto was baby crazy. She'd been goo goo for grandchildren since Itachi turned eighteen.

Still, he never thought that his own mother — the former matriarch of their clan, a paradigm of noble breeding, the epitome of grace and gentility, and the resolute moral compass of their family…

… wouldn't bat an eyelash knowing that her son had fathered a child out of wedlock.

" _Yeah, well, you didn't know she was into role-play, either_."

After cursing Shisui straight to a hell for that sordid and unnecessary reminder, Sasuke thought back to everything that happened the moment they shared the news with his parents.

His Kaa-san immediately gripped his father's arm like a vice as her dark eyes brimmed with tears. Mikoto lasted all of maybe ten seconds before she leapt out of her seat to gently cradle Sakura's shoulders.

His mother lovingly smoothed down her pink hair and asked about Sakura's due date, how she was feeling, if there was anything she was craving… before brightly suggesting –

" _Perhaps it would behoove us to move up the wedding… by a lot?_ "

While Mikoto started talking excitedly about baby shower ideas, color schemes, nursery themes, and a whole mess of other things Sasuke never thought to consider, his father discreetly summoned him to his study – where he fully expected to land the reprimand of a lifetime.

But his Otou-san caught him off guard when he placed a firm hand on his shoulder and proceeded to say the longest string of words he'd ever heard his father speak to him, ever.

" _The entirety of the main house jewelry suite was passed on to Izumi on the day of her wedding. Everything else in your mother's private collection are personal gifts, from me. I trust you understand why I wouldn't want her to part with any of it in her lifetime_."

Sasuke nodded, not sure where his father was going with all of this.

" _However, this is my wedding band_."

His father retrieved a padded silk pouch from a small tansu that was stored in one of his study cabinets. Sasuke was stunned; he wasn't aware that his father even had a wedding ring.

" _I have not worn this since Itachi's birth. I believed it was too dangerous to give my enemies the possibility of knowing that I had a wife and child at home._

 _While the ring lacks a stone, it is forged from the same priceless ore as your Kusanagi… so it has the rare ability to hold and channel chakra._

 _We will take this to our clan jeweler and have it resized for your future wife. Once it is melted down, we will have the chance to infuse our chakra into the liquid metal before it is recast_."

Sasuke's eyes widened in realization at his Otou-san's words.

" _The chakra this ring will store pales in comparison to the reserves Haruno-san holds in her Byakugō-no-In. But, it is my hope that it will be enough to keep the mother of my grandchild from having to release the Sōzō Saizei ever again, if she can help it_."

Sasuke was speechless as he left the main house that night.

Of course, he didn't remain dazed for long, because Sakura jumped him as soon as they returned to her apartment, and well… _you know_.

* * *

The days following their disclosure to his parents came with a hurricane of drama.

For starters, they had to deal with Yamanaka... which was a shit show in and of itself.

Then there was their idiot best friend and teammate screeching at how he'd been betrayed for not being told sooner, and demanding that he be named the baby's godfather.

Then there was their old pervert sensei offering up all kinds of unsolicited and unwanted "tips" on how to stay "intimate" further along in a pregnancy (and honestly like, how did he even know?)

Then there was all that bitching from the elders, who were outraged that they'd conceived before their wedding, and demanded that Sakura stop working immediately and move into the compound.

But none of that really fazed Sasuke. He just kept his Nii-san's words in mind and refused to feed any oxygen to their crotchety bullshit.

Ultimately – Sasuke and Sakura were married within a month of sharing their baby news to their friends and family, and the young couple could not have been happier.

Given Sakura's duties as Chief Surgeon, and her new responsibilities as the Executor of the children's trust – Sasuke knew they needed to remain close to the hospital and the Tower.

The location of Sakura's apartment when they were dating was okay, but it wasn't ideal… and it was much too small now that they were expecting a new addition to their young family.

Which is why Sasuke went ahead and purchased a much larger two bedroom apartment for them in an even better location.

They'd moved in two weeks ago, but still had several boxes that needed to get unpacked and organized.

Once Sasuke cleared out all of the boxes, he started washing rice for dinner when he sensed his wife approaching the door.

She was home early.

"Tadaima, Sasuke-kun."

He stopped rinsing the rice and wiped his hands before heading to the living room.

"Okaeri."

He was met with Sakura's bright smile as she reached up to place both of her arms around his neck. Even though his wife was still early in her second trimester, she was a petite person by nature – so the small bump on her belly was distinctly noticeable, and he loved feeling it whenever she gave him a hug.

He nuzzled the top of her head, breathing in the familiar scent of her hair. "You're early."

"So are you. I sensed you a few hours ago and knew you were back, so I rushed home after finishing with Inoichi-san. Are you complaining?"

"No, but dinner isn't ready yet."

Sakura snorted and arched an elegant pink brow. "So? You thought I cut my day short and rushed home for _dinner_?"

* * *

As Sasuke settled into the crook of his wife's neck, he took careful note of all the recent changes to her body.

While nothing was better than making love to Sakura, he found himself appreciating these moments in the afterglow just as much, especially now that her pregnancy was further along.

He gently cupped her fuller breasts and traced the bottom swell of her mounds, fascinated by how much bigger they'd become in such a short period of time. It was insanely hot, and he'd been enjoying them thoroughly – but he was also genuinely amazed by her body from a biological perspective.

As cliché as it sounded, growing a new life really was miraculous.

Everything about her had become softer and more radiant. Her hair was thicker and glossier, and her skin seemed to glow at all hours of the day.

His large hands slowly trailed down from her breasts to rub lazy circles around her belly.

Sakura exhaled a soft sigh as she lightly scratched her husband's scalp.

"What do you think we'll have?"

"… A human."

She gripped his hair a little tighter. "Don't be a smartass, Sasuke-kun. You know what I mean."

"I don't know."

"Well, do you have a preference?"

Sasuke only thought about it for a split second, because that's all the time he needed. "No. Just want the baby to be healthy."

His wife hummed in satisfaction, clearly pleased with his answer.

"Have you thought of any names?"

"Not really… except – "

"Except what?"

"We're not calling it Naruto."

Sakura laughed out loud, and Sasuke could feel it vibrate in her throat.

"Have you told him that?"

"Yes. A thousand times already."

"Well, I agree. I was thinking… maybe something that starts with 'Sa', like our names."

Sasuke nodded against her chest. He was on board with that.

As sunset saturated their bedroom in warm shades of copper, Sasuke took a moment to look around and take in the space.

The first thing he noticed was the corkboard over their shared desk littered with photographs. His wife was such a sentimental creature, and over the years she'd saved everything – photos from their Academy graduation, to their genin days… all the way to the present.

He eyes wandered over to their bookshelf overflowing with her medical tomes, endless scrolls, and his treatises on chakra nature manipulation.

He also noticed the whetstone they used to sharpen their kunai and shuriken sitting on top of their dresser, next to Sakura's favorite jasmine scented candle and a few of her perfume bottles.

Then, his gaze finally settled on the only piece of artwork in their room: a large canvas painting that was bequeathed to his wife by Madara at his passing.

When Sakura was informed that something tangible had been set aside for her from the former clan head's estate, she was shell shocked and had no idea what it could be.

But strangely, the moment she removed the protective paper outside the canvas and began to weep – Sasuke knew exactly what Madara painted for her before she even turned it around to show him.

He couldn't articulate how he knew… But somehow, he just did.

As he took in all of the little odds and ends in their bedroom that made up the life he and Sakura shared… and the home they were slowly, but surely, building together – Sasuke took another long look at the vibrant painting of the sakura tree with its branches covered in clouds of cherry blossoms bursting in full bloom…

And when he felt the faint, but steady flow of new chakra pulsing up towards his hand as he gently rubbed his wife's belly, he finally understood why there was only one painting that graced the walls of Madara's private sanctuary.

"Sakura."

"Yes, Anata?"

His heart overflowing with gratitude, Sasuke suddenly propped himself up on his elbow and leaned his forehead against her own.

"Thank you… for everything."

* * *

 **A/N:** Hello everyone! First and foremost, thank you to everyone who took the time to leave me a comment. I don't write for myself - I write for YOU, and your feedback is what motivated me to try and get out this update as soon as I could.

I really hoped this would be the finale, but I just couldn't fit everything I wanted to include in a way that made sense in a single installment.

So, I guess there will be an Epilogue to explain everything I wanted to explain about Madara, Haru, etc.

It's been wonderful to hear from you all - my beloved and cherished regular reviewers, Guests, and new readers alike! I've had a few names I don't recognize message me via PM with their thoughts as well, which I also appreciate.

Just wanted to put out this friendly reminder that EVERY update is difficult to plan, outline, draft, edit and post - so if you enjoy a chapter, please be sure to let me know through your reviews!

 **Clicking a favorite or follow button is no substitute for your written feedback, so please don't wait until the story is over.**

After all, it's not fair to expect the same conscientious readers to keep a story going. So, please don't hesitate and let me know your thoughts in the comment box or come by my tumblr and say hello!

Thank you so much for your readership, and I hope to hear from more of you on this latest Ch 8!

xoxo, Birk


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